Monday, July 16, 2007

Adult Discussion

Oh Lord. The Big Kid got a new laptop (my old laptop) with internet access last night because he's been pooping on the potty (hooray!! We've had poo-poo parties all week long). He got it late last night and woke up in a total panic that the little kid may have touched or looked at his computer. After 5 minutes of him screaming hysterically and slapping at the little kid, I put up the baby superyard fence thingy around him and the computer. The little kid is using his walker as a battering ram to try to break the fence down and now the Big Kid is going nuts if the little kid gets near the fence. Heaven help us.

Anyhoo, I'm going to try to let them work this out among themselves (read: ignore them) while I talk to you guys.

So, the pink cone. Deb says she knows what it is, but she's a know-it-all. Misty got smart and googled it. The pee-pee t-pee guesses were good ones, those things are totally freaking ridiculous and anyone that buys one should have their assets frozen and given to me to manage (at Loehmanns). The pink cone is....are you ready for it? On a Monday morning? The pink cone is....an, ahem, an adult...device. Yeah, you wouldn't have guessed that, huh?

Seriously, see for yourself (NOT AT WORK! This is a tasteful and discreet company, however, I do not want to get blamed for you shopping for adult toys at work, people) TooTimid.com adult toy shopping My favorite part is the description:

"The Cone doesn't follow the norm when it comes to shape, but don't be fooled, the hands-free design will leave you more than satisfied. The innovative shape hits all the spots and the funky, contemporary style means it doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer."

Um yeah, go ahead and leave that out on the nightstand. No one will ask why the fuck you have a pink traffic cone next to your bed. I discussed this with my chaw friends and the initial reaction is disbelief and horror, but upon further discussion we're thinking of starting a birthday sign up list and chipping in for each other. We do all agree that it's not cool to rub your cha cha all over something and then call it decor.

Anyway, I....have a friend....who has ordered from this company before and has been very pleased with them. They always have a freebie, you only have to pay shipping and handling and the freebie is always decent (according to my friend). Their products also arrive in a discreet priority mail box with Atlantic Innovations as the return address (from what my friend tells me) and they have great customer service (from what I've been told). They also have product reviews, which is nice (for my friend). I, er, I mean my friend, highly recommends them. They seem very female friendly.

Okay, the Big Kid has now comandeered the walker to be his chariot and the little kid is not so happy about dragging his heavy ass around. Time to leave adult fantasy land and get back to poopy every day boring life.

10 comments:

Mel said...

"We do all agree that it's not cool to rub your cha cha all over something and then call it decor".

You don't even KNOW how hard I laughed when I read this line. My stomach hurts!

Deb said...

I don't know firsthand, but I've heard from a friend they're great. I may have to order another... I mean one.

Ashley, you are a giver. Introducing countless women to wonderful products like this. Give, give, give... amazing.

Deb said...

Oh, and I had no idea what it was, to be clear.

Heather said...

wow, its too bad SATC is over. I'm sure Samantha could have had a good story line with this little gem.

lyndakay916 said...

O.K., first things first...there is such a thing as a pee-pee tee-pee?! That's crazy, i'm googling that as soon as I am done leaving this comment...

YAY to the Big Kid and his poopy progress...now be sure to give him an email address so his girlfriend can send him stuff. Just make sure he doesn't make his own MySpace acct by tomorrow-i've seen Big Kid on his computer & he's gooood!

Jenn said...

Now what the hell am I going to decorate my house with if it has to be items free of previous cha-cha rubbings?

DAMMIT!!

Monogram Momma said...

"...doesn't need to be hidden away in the bedroom drawer?" I'm sorry? I can just see my mother picking it up to use as some sort of megaphone to summon the mini's.

Good job on pooping in the potty Bi kid! And pssst! Please don't tell the mini's you got your own computer b/c they will REALLY feel robbed.

Jennifer said...

dammit Ashley! Did you order ALL of them?? They're on backorder!

Happy Homemaker said...

Verrrry interesting....

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

You sooo wrote that lone review on the website, didn't you?!