Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

I feel as though I've been remiss in my posting duties, although I posted twice yesterday morning. I am a slave to you all.

So yesterday we went to the park with The Renee and her crew and I did a photoshoot of them. The photos turned out great, which isn't difficult because her children are truly STUNNING, but I'm totally taking credit for it.

It was like 100 degrees and 300% humidity index (even at sunset) so we decided to go get ice cream at the old fashioned parlor downtown. There was this guy in there, total dork, old, white shorts that were too short and hiked up too far, crocs with socks, the whole nine yards. He was there with two young kids. We had the following exchange:

Guy: (to his kid) Trig Kid, come here.

Ashley: Is his name Big Kid?

Guy: (looks at me and smiles) No, his is Trig Kid.

Ashley: Oh that one over there covered in chocolate is named Big Kid. (Go back to shoveling flavored ice into the little kid's screaming mouth)

Guy: (mumble) beautiful eyes...you must hear that all the time

Ashley: Yep, he does have some blue eyes. haha.

Guy: No, I meant you.

Ashley: (Looking up, sensing things are taking an odd turn, because I'm perceptive like that.)

Guy: (Totally giving me intense creepy stare)...They're fantastic.

Ashley: (WTF is going on here? What's with the deep eye contact? Is this weird? Where the fuck is The Renee?)....ha...uh..ha, yeah, he has them too, I guess he's got his mother's eyes...

Guy: Very pretty

Ashley: (mumbling, turning back to screeching little kid) Okay then, thanks.

Then he made a point of coming over to say goodbye and maybe he'd see us around and once again did the skeezy eye contact. I thought maybe I was overreacting, but I asked The Renee and she said it was totally freaking weird and that's why she walked away. Thanks Wingman. Way to look out for me.

I was sitting there in a little ass ice cream parlor with 6 kids under 6 precariously perched on stools, covered in ice cream and either talking or shrieking, wearing jean shorts that were too big and a polo shirt that was too small because I haven't done laundry in a week and refused to wear anything longer than shorts, hair in messy ponytail, no makeup, a flower in my hair one of The Renee's kids picked and chocolate on my shirt....Not giving out "pick me up" vibes, not at all. I'm afraid I'm emanating "bored and desperate mom needing attention, possible easy target" vibes and that's not cool. I'm confused about the recent weirdo activity of late.

You know what else was weird? As The Renee and I were suffocating in the humidity at the park and checking out all of the Downtown Beautiful People on their pink Vespas and tandem bicycles, The Renee pointed out a cute Downtown Dad and as I'm agreeing that he's hot I am realizing that he is with the Girl Crush's son! So I flagged him right down and introduced myself and told him to tell the Girl Crush I said hi. Her husband is as cute as she is, I really must get these people to invite me over for dinner already.

Today The Renee and I swam and recreated our chicken strips, fruit, potato salad, cookies and Pinot Grigio picnic again because it was so freaking good the first time. Please note that I am leaving for vacation either Friday or Saturday, I have not done laundry in a week, I have not even thought about the various crap that will have to be gathered to go inner-tubing and to survive in a small house for days on end, and I have a very busy schedule this week.

Wednesday:

Tumble Time

Chick Fil A

Joann's Fabrics to get pimp chalice decorating materials

Thursday:
Have The Renee and crew come to my house to play and have dinner

Decorate pimp chalices

Drink

Friday:

Go boating with The Renee

Come home and beg Mr. Ashley to leave tonight so we get one more vacay day.

Saturday:
Long car ride with 2 whiny kids. 

Saturday night to Tuesday:

Consider drowning myself in springs and/or poke my eyes out with a fork to remind myself that the cottage we are staying at is TOO SMALL to accommodate 4 adults, 2 teenagers, a pre-schooler and a baby. Also, drinking too much and spending a ridiculous amount of time in the jacuzzi.

Tell me how I can fit in house cleaning, laundry, packing and whatnot?? I don't know. Mr. Ashley has to work late all week too, so no one else is going to do it. I was trying to teach the Big Kid to fold the other day and he can't even do a towel. How hard is a towel?? Here I am thinking he's a genius because he can download software from the internet, and he can't even fold a towel.

A woman's work is never done. A woman's work is never fun. Did I mention I will have NO access to internet while on this so called "vacation"? I miss you all already. I tried to talk Mr. Ashley into buying me a Blackberry before we go but he said that this was ridiculous. I tried to tell him it was for work and he said that blogging is not work. I disagree. I disagree very much. I may not get paid for it and it might not be hard, but this is my job damnit.