If you are renting a condo from your boyfriend's sister, do NOT pay your rent late every month, break the dishwasher by putting cigarette butts in there, or let your ugly dog piss and/or shit all over the place.
If for some ho-bag reason, you do manage to do all of the above...at least give the keys back when you leave. At the very, very least, don't avoid your landlords' phone calls and make them sick their brother and mom on you.
Again, if you do manage to do everything above, and if Mr. Landlord finally gets a hold of you to nicely (too nicely, IMO, sweet Southern gentleman that he is) discuss the error of your ways and his frustrations with you, DO NOT, let me repeat DO NOT call him back and start your conversation with "Not to be a bitch but..."
Because if so he may possibly call you one stupid motherfucking skank, ask if you're fucking kidding him and tell you that you'd better shut your stupid ass mouth before he drags your ugly ass into court and sues you for everything you don't have.
And then things would probably be pretty awkward.
5 comments:
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, yeah, and sorry your nice investment condo got wrecked.
But still, if you want sympathy, don't be so damned funny!
ROFLMAO!!!!!!! seriously how do you write this stuff every day?
Joy
Thanksgiving with the Sasha family is ALWAYS awkward- and we don't need landlord-tenant stuff to make it that way- we've got enough relatives who are either crazy, filing bankruptcy, or in jail to take care of that!
But your situation, that is nutty! Is she still your brother's g-friend?
I love it and I think your hubs is my new hero.
I really like your hubby.
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