Ashley: Scootch over, computer time's over, it's my turn.
Big Kid: No. No, you move. Don't you move me. You are a nasty gull. You are gettin' on da computer on my computer time and dat is bery nasty. How about if I dest tuwn da computer off and no one gets to play? How bout dat? Because you are a nasty gull, you said 2 minutes and I said 10 minutes and I don't fink it was eben 2 minutes.
little kid reaches over and turns the computer off.
Big Kid: Yeah, he needs to go to time out. Dat was bad. But now it's my tuwn on da computer. Get up.
Ashley: No. It's my turn. Back off.
Big Kid: Dat's it. You're dest goin' to jail.
Ashley: Jail?
Big Kid: Yep. I'm callin' da policeman right now and you're gonna go to jail.
Ashley: For what?
Big Kid: Bein nasty. I'm gonna tell him you tooked my computer time and he will take you to jail.
(I ignore him)
I dest had an idea. I've got a choice dor you.
We can play spwoutonline.com togethuh. How is dat dor a choice?
Ashley: No.
Big Kid: Why not?
Ashley: Because. It's my turn.
Big Kid: It is your tuwn on spwoutonline.com.
Ashley: No, Sproutonline.com stinks.
Big Kid: No it doesn't. You know it doesn't.
Ashley: It smells like rotten broccoli.
Big Kid: You're not dunny. You should to to jail dest dor sayin' dat. It's not dunny.
(I ignore him, we all know I'm funny.)
I can't believe you dest ewased all my games. To get on your website. I fink Spwoutonline.com is a better choice dan your website.
(more ignoring)
Da policeman is on his way here right now. How do you feel bout goin to jail?
Ashley: Pretty good, pretty good indeed. I can't wait til he gets here.
Big Kid: You're so nasty.
Well, I'm gonna call a policeman and put you in jail and you won't get on your computer anymore. (pacing around, wiping tears away). Dis is not right. You know dis is not right.
(ignoring, ignoring)
Well you took my computer away and you should have to go to your room. Til you go to jail. So dest go. When daddy gets home, you're gonna go in your room and not come out til bedtime.
Ashley: Deal.
Make sure you take the computer with you when you go to your room tonight for time out.
ReplyDeleteYou're so lucky!
Jail is sounding pretty good. I think they have computers there too!
ReplyDeleteSounds like the best time-out ever! Time in your room without kids is the best! Have fun!
ReplyDeleteOh lord, that kid is going to turn into a socialist with that sense of right and wrong.
ReplyDeleteIf only the world were as just as it is in his mind.
ha! he is such a trip. i like that punishment, i wonder what i can do to get sent to my room, hmmm.
ReplyDeleteI wish my kids would give me a time out. Actually I wish the hubby would give me a time out.
ReplyDeleteI love the "nasty gull."
ReplyDeleteI live in Florida. It sounds like something I would scream at the beach after opening a bag of Cheetos. "Get away you nasty Gull!"
You should remind him of the starving children in Ethiopia who don't have food, much less computers and that he should be grateful for his 2 minutes.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious that he's calling you a nasty girl!
ReplyDeleteSome days, going to jail seems like a wonderful alternative to parenting.
ReplyDeleteDude...if Big Kid gets computer time, then why on earth does he not have his own blog?!?!?
ReplyDeleteOMGosh. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I just got out of the hospital and haven't LOL at something in so long. You are awesome!
ReplyDeleteThat kid needs his own blog. Tell him no more computer time until he can figure out Blogger.
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! BK is a trip. I love it when you share your conversations with him. :)
ReplyDelete-The Renee
I love that you took the computer from big kid and then proceeded to record the conversation you were having with him. You crack me up!
ReplyDeleteOMG, that was hilarious! Love it! Where does he get nasty gull from?
ReplyDeleteDamn. How do I get a time-out?
ReplyDeleteSounds like a plan to me. Wish I could get sent to my room until daddy gets home!
ReplyDeleteHe's a trip. Love it.
ReplyDeleteHow do you not crack up at that kid? YOu can send him my way for a while if you need a break. I could so use comic relief.
ReplyDeleteGo to my room until bedtime? Sounds like HEAVEN!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, I needed that. Nasty girl, cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteOh, hell. We've got to get Big Kid and The Politician together. Mayhem would insue.
ReplyDeleteI kept waiting (and secretly hoping) that BK would actually call "da policeman" on you. Now, THAT would have been hilarious! J/K That story was so funny! BK is quite the bossy little man, isn't he?
ReplyDelete