and I really want a baby.
I know, fucking craziness.
I was already sweating the maternity session, because seeing pregnant bellies always makes me want to have one...so it was total insanity to watch this crap today. (In all fairness, I didn't turn it to this, it was already on this channel.)
I really just want to be pregnant (but not for a whole 9 months), give birth (it's just so exciting), breastfeed (I miss it. I know that's weird) and snuggle a newborn for a few weeks (ahhh, the smell).
Don't worry, I'm not crazy enough to do it, in fact I'll probably avoid sex for the next two months or so, just to be sure. Maybe forever even.
It's just too risky.
OR - you could have sex with me. I've had a vasectomy. And I am willing to offer myself. You know, just because I wouldn't want to see you deny yourself any of the pleasures of life just because of the potential consequences. And I'm free. As in - you don't even have to pay me.
ReplyDeleteJoin the baby fever wagon. I've never been so disappointed to get my period today.
ReplyDeleteI feel the SAME way. I want one I want one I want one. But I don't really want one.
ReplyDeleteI have those fleeting moments of insanity myself, then I just go and watch John & Kate Plus 8 and I'm over it.
ReplyDeleteDon't do it! Don't even think it.
ReplyDeleteI'll call you every hour at night that I'm awake with my baby. You'll get over that baby fever real fast.
Swallow a watermelon whole, rub your nipples with a pedi-egg, and then put a cat and a dog in a potato sack together, dress it up and try to cuddle it.
ReplyDeleteHas that refreshed your memory?
If not, I'm hearby offering you my baby on loan until you remember that procreating is a bitch and we're all petitioning to make men have to do the dirty work.
OMG, Ashley. Go read my blog entry from yesterday and you will rethink it. Baby Fever Be Gone! I always wanted three, maybe even four. NO LONGER, sister.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the craving will ever REALLY go away?????
ReplyDeleteBetter yet, I have one you can have. I'll ship him to you. No, I'll drive him down to you! Tomorrow. You could have him by Mother's Day. What do you say? He's really cute. Blonde & blue eyed, he'd fit in rather nicely.
ReplyDeleteOK...just wait a little while longer, I'll get knocked-up and you have my baby. Give him back when he gets married. k?thxbai
ReplyDeleteRepeat after me:
ReplyDeleteNewborn = No Time to Blog
Don't make me stage an intervention!
Speaking of babies, did you hear that the Duggars are expecting baby #18?
ReplyDeleteI want another baby, too. But only for about 8 hours a day - I need someone else to care for it the remaining 16. I need my sleep, my computer time and my gym time.
That was so generous of lceel to offer "no-chance-of-pregnancy" sex to you! And for free, no less. What a generous soul. :) I'm totally with you on the baby fever - I try to stay away from Baby Story for that reason. I am getting excited for the arrival of the nanny/housekeeper's baby, though. :) I'll get to snuggle with a newborn and then let it go back to it's own home so I can get some rest. And my kitchen will be clean and all laundry put away when he goes. Lol. Perfect arrangement.
ReplyDelete-The Renee
PS Do you know that I'm still nursing David? We're down to about 3 times a day....I wish I had access to smileys right now because I would put the one that's rolling its eyes. It's actually really nice though, because I feel like I still have a baby around. :)
I completely understand this. My last baby (ok, technically he's a toddler, but whatever) is getting so big it makes me sad! If I even suggest having another to the hubby he looks at me as if I'm crazy (which, I happen to be) and says; "Do you know how old we are?!" Of course at this point I remind him that I'm much younger!
ReplyDeleteyou know, you CAN change the channel, right? It is possible.
ReplyDeleteI've been having delusions of having another baby lately, too. I think it has something to do with the little one coming up on two in August.
ReplyDeleteBut the chance of having is boy is something I'm not willing to take. Not that I have a lot against boys, but the only place I have to put another baby would be in the pink room with the pink furniture and all the pink toys. I don't think he'd like that very much. Or maybe he would and we'd have a little problem (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I missed being pregnant too, until it happened again. Now I remember why I bitched so much the first time. ;)
ReplyDeleteTake mine. He likes breastmilk so get to lactating!
ReplyDeletelceel...you're a giver. That's quite the offer. Unfortunately (for you), only Too Timid is 100% effective.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of you have cracked me up and talked me away from the ledge.
I was having "baby fever" a few weeks ago...incidently it was right after watching "A Baby Story" too but last night we hung out with some friends of ours and she has two under two...I got to snuggle her baby but when he started screaming and had a blow out diaper I remeembered suddenly why two is such a lovely number!
ReplyDelete