
The yellow stuff is paint. He apparently broke into a paint-by-number set and drank the yellow on his way across the house to find me.
It's incredibly hard to punish someone who is wearing furry eyebrow glasses.
The last two nights, I've woken up to this (minus the yellow paint):

in my bed in the middle of the night. The night before last I woke up around 3am and there he was, sitting on my bed watching some comic on Comedy Central who was saying "Mother Fucker" a lot, grinning ear to ear.
Last night Mr. Ashley woke up to find little kid hovering over him with a glow in the dark eye ball.
So...the crib isn't working anymore as a guaranteed method of confinement. We're trying bribery now, but he's proven hard to bribe in the past. I do NOT, repeat, do NOT want his cold baby toes on my back every night and him heavy breathing in my ear and staring at me while I sleep, so let's hope it works this time.