Broken Grill

Well, I have been dreading this day for a long time.

Today, Big Kid hopped in the car from school. We did our normal routine, me asking about his day, him saying he doesn't know, me prying one word answers out of him, him getting annoyed with me, when I tried to get some lunch talk going.

Big Kid: I didn't eat all my lunch 'cuz my mouf hurted. I tode Sophia dat I was havin' toof problems...

Ashley: (kicking myself for forgetting to reschedule his last cleaning)

Big Kid: ...and Sophia said it was probabwy wiggly and dat I was probabwy gonna lose it. And it is, dest all wiggly, wiggling all over da place.

Ashley: Seriously?? Let me see...

Big Kid: (opens mouth, flicks tooth aside with his tongue)

Ashley: (gasps...stomach flips...it's just so freakish) Oh my. Wow. Ugh. Wow.

Big Kid: So da toof fairy will dest come and bring me a prize or some dollars. Maybe you could gib me an apple so I could get it out fast so we could see what I get.

Ashley: Wow. That's really...cool. What a big boy you are! Congrats. We don't have an apple, it'll come out when it's ready.

Big Kid: I'm finkin it's ready.

I have of course explored it since, tentatively rocking it back and forth with my index finger, appalled at how loose it was. I noticed that the tooth next to it is a little wobbly too. Both bottom middle teeth.

First, the whole thing grosses me out. It's just so weird when you think about it. I remember finding a pill bottle full of my baby teeth that my mom kept and I couldn't believe she kept them. Which got me to wondering what the heck I'm going to do with them. Ugh, I don't know. That's the least of my problems, I'm just grossed out about the whole thing.

Second, my kid is about to look like a hillbilly. On and off for a long time. Yeah, yeah, it's cute...but in a "your kid is a goofball" kind of way. He's enough of a goofball on his own.

Third, he just turned 5. This is not fair, losing the last of the baby parts. I thought this happened around 6 or 7.

Have I mentioned how weird and gross I think it is? Damn, damn, damn.