Monday Morning Bitching

I said I'd lay off on bitching at you all for a while once we're past the whole Bloggies thing. Well, it's been a couple of days now and I just have to mention a few things....

(things you have heard before)

Comments.

Sigh. What is it going to take, people? Do you know that anonymous commenting is enabled? You can have an account, make up a nickname, or just be anonymous. How long would it take you to hit the comment link, type "LOL" and hit send? About 2 seconds, if even.

Wouldn't it be fun if Ashley's Closet was a COMMUNITY effort? With more than my regular cast of commenters (who I consider my friends, dorky as it is. I know and remember all of you. When I'm rich, you shall be rewarded). Most of you are really funny. You don't even HAVE to be funny though.

I would really hope out of a couple of thousand people...more than 5 would have something to say about any given thing I've written.

PISSED ME OFF when I went and looked at my Bloggie competition...80 comments per entry?? What am I doing wrong? Do I write too much, not giving you enough time to comment on past entries (feel free to comment on anything, even from the way back, really.)? Is it that you're all "normal" people and not "blogging" people and don't recognize the joy that comments bring me? ARE YOU JUST BEING MEAN TO ME?

That's how I'm going to start taking it.

Admittedly, things have been slightly better lately, but we've also had a huDge traffic increase. I would expect the comments to correspond with that trend.

Okay, I'm not going to bitch about the nominations in my sidebar just yet, because we have all year but what? More than 10,000 people have probably seen it since I put it up but only 66 have voted? Okay, so I'm not your freaking precious Dooce. Dooce, Dooce, Dooce. Dooce is a goddess and everyone loves Dooce and she's nominated for BEST BLOG IN THE FREAKING UNIVERSE AND MOST AMAZING HUMAN BEING EVER and makes a bazillion dollars and gets a million comments a day....does she really need to be the Hottest Mommy Blogger too? I'm pretty sure they have to make up awards for her now, since she has already won every single one twice.

I hesitate to even mention her name, because you'll all probably run over there to tell her how wonderful she is and how she should be president of the United States and probably the next Oprah too. Yeah.

I'M SO JEALOUS I CANNOT STAND IT. I'd probably love her, but I won't even go look because I'm J-E-A-L-O-U-S. She's a total weiner gobbler and I mean that as an insult. Oh and don't you leave a comment here about how great Dooce is. Don't you do it.

So, I'm thinking I may have to implement a new system. Some sort of reward/punishment deal. Like, no new entries until we've hit 30 comments on the last entry (very reasonable) and until we're up to __ nominations for my awards. (Don't forget Best Parenting Blog)

But I know people like The Renee and Joy and AFRo and Catfish and Kate and Sasha and Traci and Clemsongirl and Jennifer and my GOOD commenters would be left with the brunt of the work...commenting and commenting and commenting just so we could all move on to the next bout of hilarity.

So don't make me do it people. I am tired of nagging and bitching at you all and I know you must be tired of hearing it. Especially those of you who are actually being productive members of the closet...you shouldn't have to be punished for the wrongdoings of others. Maybe I'll start a new blog, give all my good commenters a password and we'll have a big old funny party without "them".