Nuts

I just mentally tuned in as the kids were playing a video game and heard little kid saying what sounded like, "Eat my penis!" over and over again.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?! I can't even! Go sit on your bed, I cannot even believe--" I was floored. I could not even believe my (sometimes) sweet 6-year-old would dare say that.

He looked shocked and upset. Big Kid interrupted, "Mom, what are you talking about? What are you--? He didn't...?"

"I HEARD him. What he kept saying! 'Eat my...'" I couldn't believe Big Kid was taking up for him, and was about to send them both to their room.

"Peanuts? He's shooting peanuts at me--his character. It's a monkey."

I looked up at the screen. His character was indeed a monkey that threw peanuts. Shit. Shit shit shit.

"Oh. Carry on then."

They both stared at me.

"Sorry." I offered.

"What did you think he said?" Big Kid asked.

"I don't know. I didn't really hear. I could just tell it was aggressive..." I tried.

"Oh. I thought you thought he said 'penis'."

"Maybe you guys don't even need to play this game."

They both stared back at me, faces full of confusion and a bit of incredulity.

"Because of peanuts?" Big Kid asked.

"I don't like shooting. Are you going to play or talk about playing? You can go back to playing. Sorry I misheard. Don't be repeating things loudly or whatever."

"Oooooookay."

Not my best work.