My Library Bill

is up to $40 and they continue to send me extortion attempts.

They will not allow me to pay late fines or renew books until I pay for the damaged book that I did not damage.

World Without End (sucks) and Thousand Splendid Suns (haven't even started) are so late they are claiming they are either lost or I am buying them (for $20-some dollars a piece...yeah-right).
Three other books are racking up overdue fines by the minute.

I guess it's a good thing I checked out a tall stack of really long, enjoyable books since I may as well take my sweet time and/or just keep them, now that the library has chosen to take this route.

Screw you and your not so free books, Library.

Oh, and don't forget that I not only have two children...I have a fleet of family and friends stupid enough to give me their library card on long term loan...IF I decide your establishment is even worth my time in the future.

You will not win this time, my friends. No way. No how.