Family Entertainment

So my mom was down at grandpa's place the other day, assisting in the entertainment of our out of town family.

Their plans for the evening included reviewing old home movies that would have grandma in them. She quickly searched through her videos before leaving and found one that had grandma's handwriting on it and said "Our Journeys 1987" (or something like that, don't quote me on it).

While visiting with my uncle, his wife, and my grandpa, she pops the tape into the VCR, hits play...and sees PORN.

Someone (*cough* my dad *cough*) taped porn over a home movie.

(And yeah, just typing the words "dad, mom, grandpa, uncle, wife, home movie and porn" together in the same post is enough to make me need therapy.)

First off, my mom is a total prude, (sorry mom), my grandpa is like 100 years old (probably 87ish, but still) and my uncle and his wife are my uncle and his wife.

I guess everyone shrieked and squealed and OMGed while my mom scrambled to hit eject, and my grandpa joked that he'd be happy to store the movie at his place.

(freaking barf...the things I do for you all...)

My mom was a surprisingly good sport about it. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there was hell to pay when she got home, but when she called me on her way there she was laughing hysterically.

I think it was the sort of laugh that you do at church or at funerals or in otherwise inappropriate places if you are a jackass like myself, or maybe when you're so beyond embarrassed all you can do is laugh.

And now I've shared it with the world. (sorry mom)

It reminded me of last Thanksgiving while we were at Mr. Ashley's parents' house. My laptop was set up on a stool near the couch, where I had put it down after downloading some photos.

I have it set up so that my screen saver is random photos from my hard drive. So I'm sitting there in their little family room with 16 year old SIL, her boyfriend, FIL, SMIL, SIL's bestfriend and both of her parents...and I look over and see Catfish and Trailer Trash Barbie pole dancing.

I can't say that I was subtle in my rush to dash across the room and hit a key, any key, to make it stop, and of course my bizarre behavior drew even more attention to the situation (which SIL's boyfriend was already definitely tuned into), and created all kinds of curiosity that couldn't be answered in a fully respectable, lady like manner.

(there was hairless pussy on my computer screen, people)

SMIL is not exactly the type to appreciate a bald beaver pole dancing slideshow in her family room on Thanksgiving, so it was a little awkward. Sorry 'bout that.

Speaking of awkward, there are photos of me in wedding lingerie...somewhere.

Catfish took some pics of me in my veil and corset and thigh highs, I gave them to Mr. Ashley, and he decided to hide them in a book.

He just doesn't know which book.

And I practically collect books.

Once I lent his friend Harry Potter and there were several moments of complete panic and murderous thoughts until he called his friend and told him to shake out the book and that he'd kill him if he looked at anything that fell out...and luckily nothing fell out.

But Harry Potter???

He might have hidden it in a kid's book??

So it could be anywhere?

That's a potentially awkward moment right there. There's something to look forward to.

At least I looked really hot.