They Got Ashley

I've got to say, the actual hire was almost a let down. I had worked it up to such an enormous event and then the reality lacked the spectacular-ness that I was hoping for.

I was picturing something like that scene in Annie when Daddy Warbucks decides to take her in. You know, where the whole staff dances through the house singing, "We got Annie! We got Annie? WE GOT ANNIE!!"

I was imagining something sort of like that, people cheering, "We got Ashley!" and carrying me around on a chair while leaping and sliding across tables and doing cart wheels and whatnot.

I mean, I was thinking there would at least be an email or phone call informing me of the hire.

Instead I came home at 4pm on Friday to nothing. No message, nothing. My brother called right then and told me that an old friend of his worked there and got along well with one of the ladies that interviewed me. She (the friend) has also read the Closet and thought that I should have included it on my resume.

My brother and I argued back and forth on whether or not this was a foolish idea. He wanted my permission to tell the friend to leak it to her coworker (they swear she hasn't, but regardless, I want to say that her coworker, my now-supervisor, is young, gorgeous and impressive and I'm not just saying that to cover my ass in case she reads this. I was impressed. I'd even say there was Girl Crush potential there.)

I didn't want to, not because I'm embarrassed of the Closet, but because I don't want to go screwing it up for myself. It's just easier for "real-life" people not to know. I can't even tell you how guilty I feel about not telling some people. Like Girl Crush...what a freak I am to keep it from her, but how the hell could I tell her now?

I swear I'll do anything for you people sometimes. I can't risk lowering the potential to entertain you all and the more people that know, the more complicated it gets and the guiltier I feel.

Anyway, my brother had almost convinced me by stating that it was truly the 11th hour, they were hiring someone that day and the day was almost over and at least I would find out one way or another and know that I didn't screw myself by not sharing it.

Right then, I had another call beep in. An assistant from the HR department asking if I had filled out an application. I told her I hadn't and she said she would email it over with the offer letter. "So I'm hired?" I asked.

"Oh...no one has spoke to you about this?"

"Nope."

"Well, I don't have the authority to tell you that, but if they are doing a background check and sending an offer letter...probably."

And that was it.

I then got the offer letter and the salary amount was not the same that was originally mentioned. She had mentioned a number in the low-somethings and it was actually a number in the mid-somethings right below that number. I'm pretty used to getting Screwed by The Man though, so I just signed away my rights to privacy and gave them some pee with a smile and truly feel excited, grateful and happy about the whole situation. I'll renegotiate once I've proven that they can't live without me.

It is a super cool job. I wish I could come right out and tell you but that's not a good idea. It is media related and mom related and I will be In Charge. Woo-hoo. My business card has a fancy title. I'll have a Blackberry and laptop. It will be something I will truly love doing and something I really know that I'll be good at. I do believe they are as lucky to have found me as I am to have found them, it really is an awesome opportunity.

I will say that now that putting little kid into some sort of daycare is a real possibility, I find myself wondering how I can do that to my Choo-Choo (that's what we call him, Choochie LaRue).

Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing it. Oh am I doing it. I just feel a little tender about it. He's such a baby still and such a mama's boy.

I was going to send him to The Jews, because I can trust them and I adore them, but I think little kid needs Jesus in his life. Plus, the Jesus People are less expensive and more flexible. I still need to check them out in person, but so far they're beating The Jews.

All in all, we're entering into what feels like an exciting time in all our lives. Both boys going to school and making new friends, Mr. Ashley getting his new job, me getting my new job, us having two jobs with steady salaries and benefits.

Now let's just hope I pass the drug and background tests...

(kidding, kidding...I should pass...)