Not a Wino

The other day we were in the car and the hosts of a local talk radio show were discussing the difference between alcoholics and winos.

"They think it's okay because they're just having a glass of wine now and then," one of them said sarcastically.

"Right. Winos feel some sort of superiority, like drinking wine isn't a big deal," said the other.

It slowly dawned on me that there was silence in the backseat, and my very impressionable and judgmental children were probably misunderstanding my very infrequent (okay, not very, but infrequent still stands) bottle of wine.

"They're talking about people who abuse alcohol," I explained,"Not like your average adult who might have a glass of wine with dinner some nights."

"Oh, I knew they weren't talking about you," Big Kid said with certainty. Phew.

"Haha, yeah. I don't have a drinking problem." I clarified.

"You kind of do," little kid piped up, and before I could screech "WHAAAAT?" he added, "You have a problem with Coke!"

"Oh. Well, that's true."

"SHE IS NOT A COKO!" Big Kid rushed to my defense. "She doesn't even keep it at home anymore!"

"Coko is hilarious" I laughed.

He seemed a little offended. "What? Why? Like wino? But with Coke?"

"No, it's brilliant. I'm a Coko in recovery. Sounds better than Coke addict, for sure. Which I'm not."