Today I Have

-Wrestled 4 ornaments away from little kid to put them back on the tree
-Have cleaned up 2 broken ornaments
-Mopped up one pile of cat puke
-Done 11 Super Hugs
-Turned down 9 other Super Hugs
-Put away play food
-Retrieved lettuce, Subway leftovers, a tomato, 2 pieces of cheese and a carton of eggs from little kid and put them back in the fridge (all separate occasions)
-Yelled at little kid 17 times about being in the fridge
-Made up 2 long rambling, oddly detailed, kind of funny stories with Big Kid
-Rescued Mr. Ashley's camera from little kid
-Picked up the contents of 4 files that little kid threw all over the room
-Threw away one ripped up magazine
-Stopped little kid from putting a screw in his ear
-Found one miniature ornament in little kid's mouth
-Caught little kid with the stapler
-Put little kid in time out 4 times
-Answered 972 questions
-Put 3 toys in timeout on top of the fridge
-Shouted "DON'T BE A TATTLETALE" to Big Kid 7-9 times
-Folded laundry
-Folded laundry again when little kid unfolded it as soon as I turned my back
-Cleaned out silverware drawer
-Retrieved ladles, serving spoons and turkey basters from little kid's room
-Unsuccessfully tried to sneak M&Ms into my mouth undetected
-Surrendered my M&Ms to the vultures
-Thwarted little kid's attempt to eat a penny
-Removed little kid from the laundry room 3 times
-Attempted to reinforce the baby gate 4 times
-Put away play food
-Begged for quiet time on 6 different occasions
-Tried to start dinner and gave up
-Put away play food
-Yanked a pen away from little kid
-Played referee to 4 fights
-Threatened the dog's life for continuous whining
-Caught little kid making phone calls 3 times
-Removed little kid from the dishwasher 4 times (the new dishwasher, since the old one unexpectedly died yesterday.)
-Said "Of course you can both sit on my lap" 7 times
-Asked for just a little breathing room 8 times
-Reprimanded Big Kid for tripping little kid on purpose
-Put away play food
-Reminded little kid not to touch my computer 12 times (I just got up after typing this to figure out which cat is locked in which room so I can stop being tortured with the incessant pawing at the door and sure enough, came back and found the little turd pounding on my keys)
-Took aluminum foil away from little kid (got to find a way to keep him out of pantry)
-Put up more Christmas decorations
-Told little kid to stay out of Tupperware tubs of decorations 16 times
-Played peek-a-boo 33 times

and Mr. Ashley wonders why I'm tired? I don't care if he did spend all day in the sun clearing our yard with Taco, my parents' house boy. My day was way harder. I am totally exhausted and counting the nanoseconds until bedtime. They have worn me down mentally and physically and frankly, at this point I'd let them juggle knives for a little peace and quiet around here.