Empty Nest Syndrome-Again

So I've just completed the Egg Autopsy. One more baby chick and the rest just yucky. Out of 24 eggs, there were only three real chicks and only one looked 100% developed (the others I'd say were a 98%, their tummies weren't all healed up yet).

I'm really bummed about it. I stayed up all night looking at other eggs and other chickens and reading posts from people who were all kissy face with their brand new baby birdies. I decided to just forget about it for a week and go to bed, but I've woken up unable to forget about it and resenting the lucky ducks who are all kissy face with their chickies.

I have two options: 1. Buy more hatching eggs and try incubating again or 2. Buy day old baby chicks. Option 1 is cheaper but involves more hope and potential for heartache. Option 2 brings guaranteed results but costs more, seems sort of mean (they mail day old baby chicks!), and robs me of the chance to be their mother.

I mean, I know I'll still be their mother, but I wanted to birth them. What if going through the mail at a day old causes psychological problems and makes them unable to trust me? What if I don't feel maternal to them and their weird feet creep me out too much to love them? And for some reason, if they turned out to be roosters it would seem even more unfair. I don't know why, but it's one thing if I hatch roosters, another if I unknowingly pay for and have roosters mailed to me.

Mr. Ashley isn't feeling the urgency re: chicks but you know how men are, they don't bond until something cute is sitting there in front of them. He was feeling a little tenderness towards the perfect-other-than-being-dead chick. Big Kid votes for just getting mail order chicks because we "seem to be havin' pwoblems wif all dese eggs." little kid ran over to the empty brooder this morning to see if any chicks were in there and yelled "babies!" when he saw the incubator outside, sterilizing in the sun.

It's not fair I tell you. I've been reading about people whose temps and humidity were all off, or who are incubating in some crazy homemade contraption, or who are dealing with eggs that other eggs exploded all over...and they have chicks. I just want to know WHY I don't have chicks. I want a real chick autopsy, by a professional.

I really just want some freaking chicks. Even just one chick would work.