Unhappy Hanukkah

So tomorrow Hanukkah starts and Mr. Ashley says it would be too weird for us to celebrate it. I don't really see why. I don't care if The Jews celebrate Christmas, more power to them. I think it would be fun to light the candles and play the Dreidel and eat chocolate gold coins and get little presents. I (think I) know the story behind the whole Menorah thing and I don't think it goes against my beliefs in any way and is as likely a miracle as any other. I mean, a baby destined to save the souls of the world who was born in a barn to a virgin with three magical guys who show up with presents?? I think if that could happen then candle oil could definitely last longer than it was supposed to.

I don't see how it would be any more confusing than sending Big Kid to the Temple to learn Hebrew and celebrate Shabbat. Personally, I think The Jews deserve to be celebrated. Do you know how hard it is to find Hanukkah wrapping paper?? I got The Jew for the Chaw gift exchange last year and it was a real bitch finding a funny card or some appropriate wrapping paper. I got her a rubber ducky vibrator and some cocktail scented bath gel in case you were wondering.

Anyway, I just thought you should know that Mr. Ashley is a Hanukkah Grinch. I'm being denied my rights as an honorary Jew and I'm not happy about it. How many presents do The Jews get at Hanukkah? Because he owes me that many more Christmas gifts + some candles.