Showing posts with label ain't that a bitch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ain't that a bitch. Show all posts

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Not So Great in Emergencies

So today was my day to wake up with the little kid. I dragged my pillow and blanket out to the couch and struggled to stay conscious while he ran around and terrorized things. Big Kid woke up and I got him some breakfast and reclaimed my couch territory. little kid was in his room and I figured he was probably getting all of the diapers out of the package, throwing wipes around or yanking clothes out of his closet, so I figured we were A-OK.

All of a sudden, I heard one of those cries. You know the cry I mean. The kind that makes your stomach lurch and gets your adrenaline pumping. I swear I flew to his room, made it there in a single bound. I looked around and didn't see him immediately and heard his screams from the corner next to his bookcase. I spot him reaching for me and notice blood all over his face, all over his shirt, all over the stuffed animals around him. Then I see the heavy Disney water globe on the floor next to him.

As I picked him up blood was dripping into his eyes and from his nose and was all over his mouth and hands. It got all over my shirt and was dripping onto the floor. Apparently, my maternal instincts kicked in because all I could do was scream:

MR. ASHLEY!!!!! MR. AAAASSSSSHHLLEEEYY!! OMG! OMG! OMG! NOOO!! MR. ASHLEY COME HERE QUICK. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. OH GOD OH GOD NO. THERE IS BLOOD EVERYWHERE. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which naturally summonsed him to me in a single bound. Within milliseconds he had a paper towel and little kid.

Mr. Ashley: Ashley, hold his arms. (applying pressure to the wound)

Ashley: OMG OMG, IS HE OKAY? PLEASE TELL ME HE'S OKAY.

Mr. Ashley: He's okay. He may need some stitches. Please, just hold his arms.

Ashley: STITCHES?? NOOOOO. NOT STITCHES. NOT ON HIS FACE. OH GOD NO.

Mr. Ashley: Hold his arms.

Big Kid: Do you see dis owange fedder? A buwd must have come in da middle of da night and left dis clue dor me.

Ashley: IS HE OKAY? OMG. IT'S SO MUCH BLOOD.

Mr. Ashley: Hold his arms. Please, just hold his arms.

Big Kid: Daddy, did you hear me? Dat I found dis clue? Dat da buwd left me?

Ashley: WILL HE HAVE A SCAR? OH MY POOR BABY.

Mr. Ashley: I heard you Big Kid, okay? I heard you. Your brother is hurt. Ashley, hold his arms.

Ashley: OH GOD, OH GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

Big Kid: I'm just twyin' to tell you dat a buwd flew in here over da night, while I was sweeping and he left dis fedder dor me as a clue. I'm just twyin' to tell you dat. Okay?

Mr. Ashley: OKAY. Ashley, hold his arms!

Turns out he just has 4 puncture wounds to the head and he may have bit his tongue or had a bloody nose too. Ugh. I feel so bad, but I didn't think he could reach the snowglobes and he loves to listen to them when he goes to sleep. I guess he climbed the bookcase and pulled it down. It's a Lady & The Tramp globe and a little barrel of sticks broke off and impaled him in the forehead.
So, we've learned a couple of things this morning. 1. little kid can climb his bookcase. 2. Mr. Ashley has the patience of a saint. 3. Big Kid is not nearly as empathetic as we give him credit for. We generally view him as being overly sympathetic to sad situations and people's injuries and illnesses. 4. And most importantly, I can't be left alone with these kids. I clearly cannot be trusted in a panic situation.