Save Me

I was just coming here to tell you all how little kid said, "I love Jesus and I love my mommy. But not in that order because Jesus doesn't make me chicken nuggets."

Isn't that adorable?

Well, yeah. Two minutes later I tuned in (because he talks ALL DAY LONG, I have to tune in and out to save my sanity) and heard him singing, "Ashley the mommy is a very bitchy bitch. She's a bitchy bitch, she's a bitchy bitch, she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch."

(Which is actually kind of catchy but clearly inappropriate for a 4-year-old.)

At first I didn't think that's what he was really saying because I didn't think he knew that word or at least wouldn't be able to use it in context but as soon as I asked him about it, he swore he was singing, "Ashley the mommy, I love her love her love her," which obviously sounds nothing like "bitchy bitchy bitch."

Now he's crying and screaming because I've insulted him by pointing out that "I love her love her love her" sounds nothing like what he was singing previously and he's going in his room and closing the door until I come apologize. But he's doing this all very loudly so it doesn't benefit me at all.

I don't think he'd pull this kind of crap on Jesus.



edited to add: He later claimed he was singing "Ashley the mommy, I love her to bits bits bitsy bits," which seems plausible and a more likely story than he could come up with on his own. So maybe I do owe him an apology but I think he fell asleep in there so I might just enjoy the peace and quiet instead.

(Maybe I am a bitchy bitch bitch bitch.)