Bad Friends

"Big Kid, you need to find a friend in your class! Someone you can be silly with and laugh with and have over to play," I said on the way home today.

"Yeah, but mom? All the guys in my class...they like, like, naked lady drawings and cursing and stuff."

(In 2nd grade?? WTF! These little heathens!)

"Oh...and you don't like those things?"

Mo-om! No! They say things like the c-word--"

(Oh Jesus, no! Homeschool, here we come)

"--and like the HS word and the HC word..."

"Um, wh-what is the HS and the HC word?"

"Holy shit and holy crap."

"Oh! So the c word is...."

"Crap. And Isaac drew a picture of a naked lady! They think that stuff is funny. I just like simple silly jokes."

"Wow. Goodness."

"It was a naked lady peeing."

"Oh my! I'm so sorry you had to see that..."

"Yeah, don't worry about it too much--luckily, Isaac is not a good draw-er; it was, like, mostly a stick figure with 3 legs and pee comin' outta the one extra leg. I don't even know if Isaac has ever seen a naked lady..."

"Okay, well we will just keep looking for a good friend for you."

A good Amish friend or something.