Survivors

I watch survival and wildlife shows every morning. Not because I enjoy survival and wildlife shows (because I don't) but because little kid watches Survivorman and then Jeff Corwin, River Monsters or a nature documentary every single morning. I'm pretty sure he's seen every single Survivorman on Netflix and now we're going back through them. We watch so many of these shows that they all start to run together for me and I have no idea who is who or what exactly they're doing out in the woods.

"Is Survivorman's name Bear Grylls? Or is that someone else?"

"No. 'vivorman is just 'vivorman. Bear Grylls is a whole 'nother guy. We don't watch him like we watch 'vivorguy 'cuz Bear Grylls is always eatin' bugs and drinkin' his own pee. I kinda think he likes to eat bugs 'cuz 'vivorman's urvivin good and he's not eatin' bugs all day. You seen Bear Grylls drink his pee one time and you didn't like it, you 'member? I don't like it either so we watch 'vivorman 'cuz he's not needin' to drink his pee to urvive. Bear Grylls needs to learn to make some sort of water bucket, like wif a suitcase bag or a big giant leaf. Sometin' to catch rain in so he's not drinkin' pee. He should watch 'vivorman! But he might like drinkin' pee and eatin' bugs, I don't know."

Gross. If I had to be stuck in the woods with Bear Grylls or with little kid, I'd pick little kid.