Bringing in the Trash

The new rug I ordered on sale finally arrived.

As I struggled to get it into the front door, all rolled and wrapped up, I said, "MY RUG IS HERE!" with great joy.

"Someone threw that away?" little kid asked in disbelief.

"Threw this away? No, I bought this."

"You bought that? Wow. You get most of your treasures from the trash, so I thought it was someone's garbage."

"Come on now. I don't get that much stuff out of the trash."

"Yes, you do."

 I guess he just doesn't realize how much shopping I do, since I usually have to sneak it into the house and hide it among our surroundings.

Just an FYI, if you commend your UPS guy on Twitter for his ninja-like skills, UPS may or may not contact you via Twitter to try to get you to email them and rat him out because UPS guys aren't trained to be ninjas, I guess. I told them in all caps that I won't betray him. That dude is on the top 5 list of most important men in my life--he's cute, he's quiet, and he brings me stuff. He might be top 2. I commend their attention to customer service (and want the job of whoever gets to patrol Twitter) but it's more important not to have to deal with putting on a bra and wrestling the barking dog away from the door every other day. He understands me. I will protect him. We will continue our love affair without seeing each other or speaking.