Saturday, February 7, 2015

Kid Chameleon

The other day Big Kid hopped into the car after school and told me that he was going to be participating in a YouTube video about Minecraft with a friend of his.

little kid immediately asked if he could join.

"I don't know, I have to ask him if he's cool with that, but I'll find out." Big Kid answered.  "Bro, can I just make a suggestion if he does let you into the video?"


"Maybe you should go mute on chat."

"Go mute? No."

"It's just that your's bad."

"Well, I'll spell things right then," little kid offered.

At this point I interrupted what had become a private conversation. "If you can spell things right, why aren't you doing so?"

"It's, like, part of my persona," he answered.

"Bad spelling is part of your persona? Seriously? That's disappointing to hear." I said.

"Just derpy typing."

"Ugh. Don't do that. Don't be that guy." I love my children unconditionally, but bad spelling on purpose is not something I can get behind.

"Mom, it makes me look legit. If I just can't spell some words, I'm either dumb or an 8-year-old," he explained.

"You are an 8-year-old."

"Not on the internet. I don't tell anyone about my age. They don't need to know and I don't need them giving me a hard time." 

Big Kid interjected, "For real though mom, it helps him blend in. We are chameleons on the internet. His strategy is pretty good, I just don't want him doing it on my friend's video."

"The terrible grammar helps him blend in? Chameleons of the internet?" I was amused and incredulous.

"Yeah. I know it's sad, but it's true. No one can spell. The safest and smartest thing for him to do is type like a derp."

"And it works!" little kid continued. "When anyone asks my age, I tell them to guess and they usually guess that I'm a teenager. They think I'm cool. If they thought I was 8, I'd probably get kicked off of the survival server."

"Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing," I said.

"Mom, he's like a Minecraft celebrity. He is really good at what he does. He's also not up to anything that's not appropriate, other than the spelling thing."

Honestly, I'd almost rather he was cursing up a storm or something. And the fact that he can pass as a teenager due to his poor spelling indicates a sad state of affairs for our future. 

Unless everyone on Minecraft is 8 years old and faking it?

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