I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry the life I had planned for you isn't going as planned.
I'm so sorry I stayed in this situation for as long as I did, and I'm so sorry I can't stay in it for longer.
I'm so sorry that your lives are being divided.
I'm so sorry I never know what to say or do next anymore.
I'm so sorry that you're more likely to remember how I burst into tears when I asked you to please not clink your spoon so loudly against the bowl today, and not that I was working every spare minute to build a business entirely reliant on my mental acuity and concentration at a time I have neither.
I'm so sorry that it's your friends providing the spring break memories that I used to live for.
I'm so sorry that I have to say "We'll see" knowing it's a definite "no" when neither of you ever ask for anything.
I'm just so sorry.
I know you're going to grow up and this will be the scary part of your story, and I wish I had been a better author of your lives so I could save you from it.
I hope one day we all understand, me included.
I hope you know that I have loved you ferociously even at my lowest or loudest point.
I hope one day you'll be proud of me.
I hope one day I can say I'm a really good mom again, with confidence I don't have right now.
I hope one day everyone will see that it was the only way.
But no matter what, I'm sorry.