List of Complaints

1. I didn't choose this potty training business. Yeah, it's great that he wants to do this but I don't feel like chasing him around, hanging out in the bathroom, fighting about stickers and lollies and washing things that have been peed on.

He pooped in a cowboy hat yesterday.

No, I'm not kidding.

2. Big Kid has been talking for two weeks straight. Oh. My. God. I love, cherish, and adore him, but I wish he could spend more time BEING QUIET. And for the love of all things holy, NO MORE BABY EINSTEINS. DAMN. It has to be THE. MOST. BORING. SUBJECT. EVER. I know that's rude of me, but I don't even care. If I have to hear about that fucking goat one more time, I'm just going to flip the fuck out on someone.

Also, I never thought I'd have to ban the alphabet, but I'm seriously considering it. Forwards, backwards, written, sang, physical recreations of, lists including, it just does not stop. This has been basically going on in one way or another since he was about 18 months old. It's an obsession, and it's great, but there's only so much a person can take.

3. I am sick. I know, of all weekends to get sick! I have a sore throat and itchy ears and sinus congestion brewing. Friday night I went to bed as soon as I put Big Kid to bed (8:30pm). I stayed awake long enough to watch Evan Almighty, which was super cute, but I just felt exhausted. Last night I just camped out in bed all night with my laptop (that was nice).

4. House is a mess. More so than usual. Keeping little kid alive and from killing anything, full time with no assistance, leaves very little time for accomplishing much of anything. I have almost completely caught up on laundry, which is unheard of around here, but it hasn't been put away, so I don't feel good about that yet. I still have some to fold too. A lot to fold.

And there are toys everywhere, and a bag of rubberbands has been scattered about and the monkeys from a barrel of monkeys are all over my damn family room. I just do not want to have to deal with all of that.

5. I put little kid down for a nap at 11am and he's in there awake now at 12:15pm. This is not enough time. He's in there in a diaper, undies, and pants, but that will take him no time at all to get out of and he absolutely will pee or poop on something as revenge. Damn it, he's calling for me. I'm hissing at Big Kid to be absolutely silent and hitting the keys as softly as possible. I know he's not going to give up.

6. I have had to get up early so many days in a row I can't even count. If I get up early, around 4pmish I am Totally Done. Apparently, if I get up early a lot of days in a row, I become Totally Done earlier in the day. I was Totally Done around 9amish today.

Damn, damn, damn, damn, he's awake.

I was going to take them outside for a water balloon fight just because pelting them with water balloons was the closest thing to child abuse without breaking the law that I could think of. They will probably like it, I could use the stress reducing factor, and it might wear them out a little.

However, I am not ready to do that now.

(Big Kid has talked or whispered the ENTIRE TIME I tried to type this. I can't even think)