-4 Hours at a swanky spa
-1 virtual cat fight
-3 pairs of free flip flops
-70 feet of luxury on the water
-3 dozen Stone Crab claws
-7 (8? 9?) bottles of champagne
-2 Ashleys, 1 a cute male Captain
-7 ladies (if you use the term loosely)
-2 little black dresses
-3 pairs of high heeled boots
-2 bottles of red wine
-5 gourmet Italian Mediterranean entrees
-6 Penises (penii?)
-2 Unamused cab drivers (You know they secretly loved it)
-2 booths danced upon
-1 Upgrade to a VIP table
-4 (5?) Amstel Lights
-4 rounds of drinks on the house
-6 Buttery Nipples (Lordy, lordy how "21" of us)
-99 Problems and a Bitch Ain't One
-99 Red Balloons
-1 stripper pole
-1 bald beaver sighting (as predicted by The_Joyous_Quintet, wait til you see how right you were, my friend)
-1 suspected Hepatitis infection
-$1200 worth of boots ruined
-86 times the phrase "hairless pussy" was muttered, slurred, squealed or screamed after the beave was spotted (for shock value and comedic purposes of course)
-29 "Why didn't you stop me"s from Catfish this morning
-6 cups of freshly ground coffee
-One photo of car going through Sun Pass toll lane with no Sun Pass with $100 ticket attached arriving in the mail at any time
-223 photos taken
-20 days until Another One Bites the Dust
-3 Chapters to this tale
Sneak Preview of Chapter 1: Nothing Standard About It
