STOMP

was a-maz-ing.

Seriously.

Holy cow.

Let me also state for the record...open invitation to any performing STOMP cast member who would like to do me.

Wow. Just Wow. Something about percussion, good rhythm, and combat boots just makes me want to get naked.

I wanted to throw my panties on stage but I was pretty far from the stage...and I didn't want anyone to trip...and I was with Big Kid...and I was at an opera house...and I was wearing SPANX bike shorts instead of panties. So I didn't.

While we're on the subject, let's talk about proper attire. Proper attire would mean wearing clothing that was appropriate for the occasion. Going to the opera house and paying high ticket prices = dressing nicely. Regardless of the show, or the time of day, or your age.

Jeans are okay (if dressed up), but the t-shirt you got for free from Home Depot is not. Think Dressy Casual. I should not have felt overdressed in a black cotton dress and high heeled sandals. I should have blended right in, but you people with your SHORTS and CROCS and ratty T-SHIRTS made me feel conspicuous.

Big Kid thought I looked very pretty and told me several times. I think he was just glad I wasn't going to wear the bra and panties I was walking around the house in earlier in the day.

Big Kid: Um, are you gonna wear dat to STOMP?
Ashley: Yes, why?
Big Kid: (looking me up and down nervously) So dat will be your dwess?
Ashley: Yes, don't I look pretty?
Big Kid: Um, well...no. Sowwy.

So he was probably just making a big deal out of the black dress so I wouldn't go back to the beige grandma bra and the black and pink thong. Thank goodness he's never seen the Spanx. No one has EVER seen the Spanx, and no one ever will.

God forbid I'm ever in a terrible car accident and I happen to be wearing Spanx...just let me die before you even think about letting some hot EMT cut those ugly things off of me. Please. For the love of God. This is something that I have actually lost sleep over, this possibility. Don't let it happen.

Anyway, the show was great and Big Kid LOVED IT. He remembers parts of it that I don't, and was just captivated from start to finish. He's been stomping around here and banging on things all night.

We got really lucky at the Japanese steak house and ended up sitting at the same table as a 4 year old that Big Kid was playing with outside, so they were as entertained with each other as they were with the chef, who was great. I am so full right now.

little kid went to the zoo with gram and gramps and was supposedly no trouble at all, although they seemed awful eager to get us the heck out of there. He was dirty and sticky and fell asleep on the way home, so I'm guessing he had fun. Big Kid was especially glad to see him since my dad had told him that he was going to leave little kid on the monkey island. Big Kid told him not to do that, that little kid was his baby and he couldn't let him do that to him.

I guess he forgot about little kid being his baby when he held him underwater in the baby pool the other day. Just trying to make him swim, my ass.

So, all in all, it was a great anniversary celebration for The Ashleys. Did we regret, even a bit, including a 4 year old in our plans?

Hell to the motherfucking yeah we did, several times today. But whatever, he loved it. That's what this whole parenting gig is about right? Sacrificing your own fun for the sake of others.



Edited to add: Mr. Ashley says open invitation to any STOMP cast member that wants to do him too. But then he remembered that there were only two girls and one was a little man-ish, so he clarified no men and no women that look like men. Leaving him really only one option. However, I am not so picky, so whoever, call me.

Edited again to add: Actually, don't call me. Email me. k?thxbai