Master Cleanse Diet: Day 2

Breakfast: So far, so good. I'm drinking my lemonade right now and I can tell I'm going to be really sick of it soon. The worst part is the caffeine withdrawal. I have some real sleep issues as it is, add waking up a couple times of night to go potty, waking up early with little kid (who also apparently had poop issues over the night), and no caffeine and you've got one tired, crabby Ashley.

Someone commented that they didn't know when they would have 10 free days to do this...which made me realize that Mr. Ashley's birthday is Monday and I really could have planned this whole thing better. I'm doing it with my friend Sherri and we were excited to start, so oh well. We'll see how it goes. That was pretty stupid of me though.

Lunch: I'm hungry again but I think it's mostly because I know I can't have food. I'm still doing great but I did chew up a piece of cantaloupe and spit it out during lunch and I did make out with a ranch covered carrot (no biting, just a little lick). Since I didn't do the saline flush, I had another cup of the tea midmorning and no ill effects from that yet. I will keep you posted.

6:00pm: I pretty much feel like shit. Supposedly, this is the detox phase. I'm tired and I have a headache (probably caffeine withdrawal) and I'm hungry. It didn't help that I made Mr. Ashley and the boys dinner in the crock pot and it smells so freaking good I just want to go outside and sleep so I don't have to smell it. I just tried the saltwater flush again and I just can't do it. I choked down 2 cups and that's just going to have to be enough. My tongue is also a fuzzy gray color, which is supposed to be a sign of toxins leaving (or some such shit, who knows). Sherri left a comment that made it look like she was about to quit and I called her and straightened her out and we are still in this together. Ugh.

6:40pm: Exactly why am I doing this again? I don't know if these extra 15 lbs are worth it. Maybe after this 2 day wake up call I could just trust myself to eat normally and exercise? Yes? No? Maybe so. It could still be considered a jump start. This is just brutal. I just tried to mix another glass of the lemonade and I'm gagging at the smell. Plus, I'm almost positive that pork loin in the crockpot is the best meal I've ever cooked it smells so freaking good. Almost 2 days without even a bite of food, that's just nuts. I don't know, I've got a call into Sherri in the hopes she can tell me something to make me feel better (like "let's quit!")

7:34pm: Yep. Best pork loin I've ever made. Best cantaloupe I have ever had too. And this vitamin water, it's freaking delicious.

Upon more research I learned that the average woman (and we all know I'm more than average, but still) loses 12 lbs from the diet and gains 6 back. So 6 pounds? Screw that. I lost 5 lbs from just quitting Coke and walking. And the whole detox thing? Screw that too. I'll just get on some anti-anxiety meds or some uppers or something.

Keep on keepin' on, my sweet Sherri. I'm just going to try to convince everyone that muffin tops are the new 6 pack. Do you hear that everyone? Muffin tops are hot. Wash board abs are not. Make a note of it.