Breaking News

Paris Hilton is out of jail?? Yeah, that's fair. Something about a medical condition and not being able to read? I didn't think Herpes was considered a medical condition that would keep you out of jail and I had no idea being illiterate (which she's not, she's a dumb ass, but I am pretty sure she can read, since she can write and all) is a get out of jail free card. House arrest? I'd give up my toes to be on house arrest at her place. RI-DICK-U-LOUS. Proud to be an American today folks, dirty whores that had the good fortune to be born to a hotel chain are free to do as they please while the rest of us peons have to follow the rules.

So I've thought up a new form of torture....Chutes & Ladders. Oh my God. Please, no more.

I woke up this morning feeling pukey. Please, go ahead and ask if I'm pregnant so I can look up your IP address, track you down and punch you in the nose.

I am supposed to go paint pottery tonight. I had envisioned sipping wine while painting (terribly) and enjoying adult company but that probably won't happen if I'm still dry heaving.

The fucking cat threw up on my leather couch and when I wiped it up, the acid discolored the leather. I am so pissed. I hate those damn cats. I'm thinking of having a little patch of leather made from one of their carcasses in order to patch up the damage.

I've got to go make the brats lunch and slap the Go Fish game out of the Big Kid's hands. No freaking way, Chutes & Ladders was enough fun for today...for the week actually. Maybe we can do some shopping later tonight, I need it.

P.S. I had a cute "Get out of jail free" card graphic to add to this post but freaking Blogger is having some sort of technical difficulties. Thanks Blogger, for making my day just a little easier.