WE ARE NOT CO-SLEEPERS

So the E-bull one made a pretty interesting discovery last night.

He discovered that if you decide to wake up right around the time your mom is going to bed (2am-ish) and just refuse to go back to sleep...you get to go in her room and sit on her bed and watch Paradise Hotel 2 while she strokes your hair.

Waaaaaaaaay more fun than sleeping. Especially for the only living creature in the house who isn't allowed in that bedroom.

Also, turns out he really does enjoy television. He just prefers soft core porn reality shows to Noggin. And really, can you blame him?

Every time I'd begin to doze off I'd feel him creeping away, or leaning over Mr. Ashley to remove his blankets and stare at him.

Finally Mr. Ashley pinned him down with an arm around 4am, but unfortunately the location of confinement allowed me only 4 inches of sleeping space. So I slept on my side, on those 4 inches, having nightmares and getting up to pee twice for a whopping 3 hours before Mr. Ashley jumped up swearing he was going to be late for work.

Then we discovered that the clock was an hour off. So I *could* have had 4 hours of sleep.

I AM TIRED, PEOPLE. Really, really tired and pretty crabby. Big Kid is a major WHI-NER today and is protecting his stuff from little kid with a fierceness and burst into tears when I told him I wasn't setting the Wii up.

little kid is taking advantage of my exhaustion by dragging a small folding chair around. He thinks that I don't know that he has figured out how to unfold it and that he is in the office right now, probably writing on shit with a Sharpie, but I caught onto him last time I walked into the office and saw him quickly dismount from and fold the chair back up, dropping it back on the ground like, "What chair?"

I think the rule for today is going to be "If I can't see or hear you, what you are doing is okay."

My bigger concern is that I broke my very smart rule about not letting kids in bed with us. Big Kid has done it a few times, I can probably count on one hand, but it has never even been an annoyance little less an issue.

In my opinion, it is not co-sleeping if it isn't a baby, it's one more sign that your kid is in charge and totally rules your ass. I always thought I was SO SMART not to get that started...I can promise you that little kid learned an important lesson last night and I will HAVE TO fight this battle to remain in a child free bed.

Never again. I prefer to watch Paradise Hotel 2 by my lonesome and I prefer more than 4 inches of bed space. We all know he controls me every waking moment...we are NOT getting this shit started during sleep time. Can not. Will not.