Tuesday, February 19, 2008

WE ARE NOT CO-SLEEPERS

So the E-bull one made a pretty interesting discovery last night.

He discovered that if you decide to wake up right around the time your mom is going to bed (2am-ish) and just refuse to go back to sleep...you get to go in her room and sit on her bed and watch Paradise Hotel 2 while she strokes your hair.

Waaaaaaaaay more fun than sleeping. Especially for the only living creature in the house who isn't allowed in that bedroom.

Also, turns out he really does enjoy television. He just prefers soft core porn reality shows to Noggin. And really, can you blame him?

Every time I'd begin to doze off I'd feel him creeping away, or leaning over Mr. Ashley to remove his blankets and stare at him.

Finally Mr. Ashley pinned him down with an arm around 4am, but unfortunately the location of confinement allowed me only 4 inches of sleeping space. So I slept on my side, on those 4 inches, having nightmares and getting up to pee twice for a whopping 3 hours before Mr. Ashley jumped up swearing he was going to be late for work.

Then we discovered that the clock was an hour off. So I *could* have had 4 hours of sleep.

I AM TIRED, PEOPLE. Really, really tired and pretty crabby. Big Kid is a major WHI-NER today and is protecting his stuff from little kid with a fierceness and burst into tears when I told him I wasn't setting the Wii up.

little kid is taking advantage of my exhaustion by dragging a small folding chair around. He thinks that I don't know that he has figured out how to unfold it and that he is in the office right now, probably writing on shit with a Sharpie, but I caught onto him last time I walked into the office and saw him quickly dismount from and fold the chair back up, dropping it back on the ground like, "What chair?"

I think the rule for today is going to be "If I can't see or hear you, what you are doing is okay."

My bigger concern is that I broke my very smart rule about not letting kids in bed with us. Big Kid has done it a few times, I can probably count on one hand, but it has never even been an annoyance little less an issue.

In my opinion, it is not co-sleeping if it isn't a baby, it's one more sign that your kid is in charge and totally rules your ass. I always thought I was SO SMART not to get that started...I can promise you that little kid learned an important lesson last night and I will HAVE TO fight this battle to remain in a child free bed.

Never again. I prefer to watch Paradise Hotel 2 by my lonesome and I prefer more than 4 inches of bed space. We all know he controls me every waking moment...we are NOT getting this shit started during sleep time. Can not. Will not.

15 comments:

Melodie said...

Whenever we can't get our eighteen month old to go to sleep in her crib, my husband and I resort to letting her sleep with us. It happens about once a week, but it doesn't really bother us because she is so sweet when we wake up in the morning and she covers us in little kisses.

Sasha said...

PH2 is way trashier than PH1- and I love it! I can't watch it in front of Mr. Sasha because he will think it's his OK to start watching his own choice of porn.

http://whereismyfreakinmind.wordpress.com/ said...

Crap. Yeah, a very similar scenario happened over here and we had to NIP IT. With a quickness. Good luck.... :-)

Anonymous said...

I was soooo of the same opinion regarding sleep with my 41/2 yr old but with my 17 month old he sleeps in our bed WAY too much! I gave in because of my need for sleep...I haven't slept a full night since 2 months before he was even born. I have a permanment pinch in my shoulder from my 4 inches of bed space...makes my hand go numb when I am on the puter :( I think he did it on purpose to cut down on my web surfn'

Dawn

Dawn

Jodi said...

I totally wondered if any of the Chaws were watching Paradise Hotel. God, I'm hooked, so I can't blame LK for appreciating its definite value!
(okay, I admit, I get off watching that show. Not "get off-get off". But, you know... it provides me something that is glaringly lacking around here. and it ain't orgasm, cuz that's never lacking. I am pretty sure it's the kissing scenes that do it. The show does such a good job at really capturing that first intense insane passion and attraction that happens for two sexy people. (there should be an emmy for that!)Face it, some of those guys are freakin' HAWT! How about the first show where the 'single' girl was writhing around on her bed with the night camera on her, moaning, "Ughhh - I want to have sex. I want to get laid." while stroking her hands all over her body?? wooeeee
That's some good stuff right there.

Sorry you're tired. My LK here is not welcome in our love nest, either.

noble pig said...

Oh Paradise Hotel...where do they seriously find this people who will act like total lame pathetic losers for 15 minutes of fame. But yes, I keep watching too hence my addiction with reality TV.

Southern Fried Girl said...

OMG, poor you. Yeah, good luck extricating the kid out of the bed now. I recommend a kid sized shoe horn.

Joy said...

Oh I so agree on this NO kid bed. I love my sleep way to much to share it. Kindergartener has managed once to talk me into sleeping in his bed since the electricity was out and it was pitch black in our house (that totally sucked), and the little one has weasled her way into our bed a couple of times by climbing in around 3am and me being so lazy I couldn't make myself get up, but that also sucked.

As for the P.H. 2 my hubby and I watched it last night and I felt so dirty afterwards. I couldn't keep my eyes off the new guys eyebrows they were obviously waxed but to such a weird rectangle shape and were so black it looked like LK had taken his sharpie to them!

Dana said...

Oh God - my kid did this, too. Took me about a week to get him straight. It was definitely not fun to have to listen to him scream for a couple of hours in the middle of the night . . . but way better than having that monster take over my bed!

Tara said...

Yep, he'll be in your bed tonight and throw a HUGE fit when you tell him no. Been there done that. It totally sucks. Why do they sleep so damn close too? My kids give me a few inches, and I end up with a sore neck, shoulders, arms & back. My day is ruined and I'm crabby with no patience. Little sh!ts.

When DD was a baby she would only quiet down if we turned on the tv. That is all that would work. Sooo, if she got us up screaming, we would put her in the middle, turn on the tv and go back to bed. She would just lay down after a while and go to sleep. =)

Anonymous said...

yes- I firmly beleive.... see no E-bull, hear no E-bull, must be no E-bull. Get some sleep!

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

Your always welcome at the Casa de Chaos, leave Mr. Ashley at home to deal.

Tracey said...

Ok, I am lost, what channel is PH2 on? I have never heard of it and we have all the premium channels (which I admit I never even watch).

As for LOs in bed, we have that rule too. Doesn't matter now though since DD sleeps in a crib still. I have been waiting for DD to climb out of her crib and walk into our room one night/morning....until I realized that we have a lever lock on your bedroom door and keep our door closed. She's never be able to get in our room. So now I'm waiting for the day that DH gets up to let the dogs out, opens the bedroom door, and finds DD curled up asleep in front of our door. Awwwww....poor thing.

Femme au Foyer said...

Poor Girl. You gotta go what you gotta do, though, so don't beat yourself up. Last night you had to make the concession in order to get some sleep, tonight you might have to fight a little. It will work itself out eventually.

Like I have *any* idea what I'm talking about--I don't even have kids! I read your blog to learn the ins-and-outs of motherhood. You tell the truth and I appreciate that.

Side note: I am one of six kids and your way of approaching motherhood is much like my mother's. We all turned out just fine in the end and love our parents with all of our hearts. I'm still amazed that my mom lived through all that.

Oh, and instead of decorating the office with a Sharpie, I used to like to punch holes in the vinyl couch with a ball point pen. When no one was looking, of course.

AFRo said...

OOOOOOoooooo THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! I had the shittiest day on record but I'm now laughing my arse off at the thought of 1.) LK pulling covers back to stare at Mr. Ashley (this is my youngest made over) and 2.) LK walking around with a chair thinking he's smarter than you. Crack me up.