Friday, February 8, 2008

Made The Call

Sure enough they were super nice to me, gave me what I wanted and were no trouble whatsoever. Like I pretty much knew they would be because 90% of people are friendly and cooperative if possible and being on the other end of the phone does not instantly make people mean.

Why oh why am I such a freak about the phone??

Maybe it is leftover anxiety from all of those cold calls I made when I was a realtor...oh wait, I never made those calls because I was a freak then too.

I don't know then.

Now I'm off to stare anxiously at the dishes and hope a solution presents itself.

Edited to add: I didn't originally mention what the call was about because it's not that interesting and it is more that every call creates this nuttiness in me, but you're all interested in knowing so I will share.

I called the director of the Temple to see if I could put photography advertisements in the kids' mailboxes. She was very nice to me and said that I could.

I knew the Jews were nice and should not have feared them. This is about me, not them.

Edited Again to add: Someone just commented about mail...I'm also afraid of mail. Not ONLY the post office, which strikes complete and total dread into my heart, but the actual mail itself. I will let it become a ginormous pile of chaos and continue to pretend it does not exist until Mr. Ashley handles it and then I bitch at him for not handling it correctly because I would like him to sort it right over the trash can immediately so I don't have to see it piling up and making me nervous.

Mr. Ashley just handed me a nice little note from my friend Jodi (I love you too, Rube, we just manage to drive each other crazy once a month of so) and I didn't want to open it because it didn't have a return address.

I'm pretty much admitting that I am bat shit crazy today, aren't I? Think I can get a doctor's note to get me out of doing those dishes?

Edited One More Time Because I Don't Think I Could Possibly Have Any More Craziness To Share: Someone mentioned the door bell. OMG don't get me started on unexpected door knocking. The dog starts barking, I'm not wearing a bra and my curly hair is a scary mess, the kids are naked and dirty, the dishes are in the sink and I immediately want to take the children and hide. Even unknown, but expected guests are feared. I once told a scary looking furniture delivery guy that my German Shepherd is an ex-police dog. I blame this fear on the fact that I live in the woods and get nervous about being home alone. I also have a secret fear that one day Oprah will knock on my door to answer all of my prayers, but I'll be too scared or embarrassed to answer. A very valid phobia, really.

Also, voicemails/messages...don't even bother. I've said it before and I'll say it again, at any given time I will have 43 answering machine messages. I will not deal with them. Mr. Ashley occasionally even checks my cell phone messages for me when I get really bad. He is very understanding of my bordering on bizarre anti-phone/mail/visitors/messages behavior.

My real friends hardly even bother anymore. They also know a text message will be read (maybe a week late) but never responded to because I don't really know how. Well I do but my stupid phone guesses the rest of the word for me and I freaking hate that and don't know how to make it stop. Plus, it takes too long.

My world would be a much better place if we all emailed and IMed...although I'm a little behind on my email right now too...

46 comments:

MommyMo said...

Ashley, I also have a thing about the phone. I have become such a pain in my hubby's rear end. He'll say, "could you call so and so today and tell them such and such" and my reply EVERYTIME before I can even stop it from coming out of my mouth is, (and with a whine, too) "can't you do it?" as if he's not at work ten hours of the day. And of course he says,well aren't you going to be home all day? And thus our fight begins. I'm also with you on the dishes...ugh.

Melissa said...

I hate making phone calls too! They give me such anxiety and I avoid doing it as much as possible! Glad it went well for you though! :)

Sequana said...

Not only do I have the same phonephobia, but one of my sisters does also. The third sister would call anyone, anywhere and not even think about it.

It's some weird genetic thing. I don't mind confronting people face to face, and even on the phone I usually hang up being friends and laughing with the person at the other end of the line. But picking it up, and pushing those buttons and waiting for it to be answered is one of the worst things ever.

Mitch said...

I feel your pain re the phone! I get all nervous and my stomach gets butterflies every time I have to make a phone call like that I don't want to make. And like you said, it usually just turns out fine. But you are not alone!

Amanda said...

I dread phone calls, too... especially when I have to call someone about their child's misbehavior and/or academic struggles... (Of course, if I wasn't addicted to your blog, I would be teaching instead of reading this!!!)

Glad to know I am not alone.
:-)

Anonymous said...

The only phone call I hate to make it ordering pizza. I will literally do anything to get out of it. It was my "job" when I was a kid and now that I'm all grown up, I don't want to do it anymore.

Katie

Anonymous said...

I am confused. Are we supposed to know what call, or was the point just that you made *A* call because you don't like to do that?
Don't feel bad, I don't like to do it either. Good for you, kicking that call's ass!!!
If you find a solution for the dishes it would be great if you could share it.

AFRo said...

I think I missed something... what was this phone call about?

Anonymous said...

Add me to the list of phone call anxiety.

Donella said...

I have a shameful phone phobia too. I will usually flat out refuse to make phone calls; my other half has to do it 90% of the time. I made the most phone calls of my life when we were buying a house because I had to handle everything. It gave me knots in my stomach everytime. Phones are severely outdated. If someone can't email or IM me, then I don't need to talk to them. :-)

baby mama drama said...

I have a phone call phobia as well. It's really quite pathetic, but at least I have company. I look forward to the mail, but I don't touch the bills. I let them pile up until Big Daddy takes care of them. If I was to pay the bills, I would probably never sleep again.

SLC said...

Sometimes I just want to hibernate and not have to deal with anything.
Happy Friday!

Kate said...

I absolutely dread making telephone calls that aren't personal. In fact, I tend to put them off and then complete them all at the same time so the anxiety is instantly gone.

Also: bat shit crazy is one of my favorite expressions, though I do not believe that you are!

Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel better, we're all a little bat shit crazy!

For instance, I can't sit on a toilet while it is flushing. It freaks the shit out of me (not literally). I also can't have anyone touch me when I'm driving. I'm not sure where that fear came from but I feel that if someone touches me, I'll get into an accident. Oh, and I rock gently from side-to-side when I'm sitting down. I've been doing it since I was pretty little so I can't blame it on having kids; however, my mom does it so I probably got it from her. Someone once told me that it's a sign of schizophrenia. I'm not sure if that's true but I KNOW I'm not schizophrenic (just bat shit crazy!)

Katie

Anonymous said...

I am afraid of the phone, mail, and doorbell. I just want to be left alone.

~*Goodthingscomeinthree*~ said...

Don't feel bad Ashley, I am entirely anti phone AND mail! I leave ours in the mailbox or shove it in a drawer until the H takes care of it. Nothing good ever comes from checking the mail! And I have about 3 people I will consitantly answer the phone too or call, other wise it's a huge no go!

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not alone in hating the phone. I cringe when it rings. And I despise voicemail!

slacker mama said...

I'm phone-phobic as well. Especially calling pizza or chinese. I would almost rather go hungry than make the call.

And sitting on the toilet while it's flushed? Good god...that just terrifies me. All that swishing and swirling below!

Rachael said...

Oh. My. God. I HATE the phone! Which sucks, since I'm, oh, a journalist and all, and I have to do phone interviews like, every day. And I do have that thing where I think someone is going to be an a-hole just because they are on the other end of the line. God I need to get over that. AIM chats don't count as legitimate sources...

Liz said...

I hate the phone too...I am terrible at returning calls and I don't even like calling to order a pizza and I rarely leave messages for people. My boyfriend thinks I am crazy because of this. I also agree with the unexpected doorbell/knocking. I usually just ignore and draw the blinds because it is too chaotic with my dog and 99% of the time it is just a solicitor anyway.

catfish said...

I have to close the toliet lid before I even flush it! Let alone sitting on it while I flush it. I just think of all the "particles" flying up at me! EIWHHH

jennyandcompany said...

oh i was so upset the day my mom caught on to me and made me make my own phone call! i got away with it for a while though, a couple of years into college anyway. those were the days. much rather email, that way i don't have to respond right away, and can plan what to say and not sound like a complete idiot.

Teri said...

Totally hate the phone, I screen ALL calls. Unforunately, Radio is the same way. It's amazing we get anything done.

Oprah's cool, I know someday she'll surprise you in the woods. You get surprised, then they'll doll you up and re-inact the scene with appropriate clothes, hair, home and children.

Anne-Toireasa said...

The scene you describe when you have an unexpected knock on the door is totally prime.

Kari said...

The phone doesn't bother me but my skin CRAWLS when someone is at the door. I make the kids hide and I know I am &$#@ing them up for life and they will have issues. How dare someone come to my house unexpected!
Like you said, I need time to put a bra on and hide the dirty underpants that are on the floor (okay, you didn't say that part .. and um yeah, I really don't have dirty underpants on my floor. That would be gross! Ahem.)
But seriously. I don't care that my car is outside and the lights are on. I'm NOT home.
Nothing good comes from unexpected visitors - it only means someone wants something and I am SO BEYOND being a nice and helpful neighbor!!

October said...

Oh my goodness me too!!
I get SO stressed out over answering and making phone calls.
Like today, this woman (from a company I've never worked with) called me about a job (I'm a freelancer) and instead of calling her back and explaining how I can't work for them (because I'm on another project) in a friendly and networking kind of way, I will wait until midnight and then send her a textmessage where I will lie about being so terribly busy today that I haven't had the chance to call and then let her know I'm not available for work, without the stressful confrontation of a real conversation.
And also, I hate/fear/loathe doorbells, mail, e-mail, meeting people randomly on the street, paying bills, sending bills and talking in front of an audience.

But mostly the phone.

And the most shameful part is that I am so embarrased over this that the people who know me have no idea and think I'm the most easy going socially relaxed person, cause I hide it so desperatly well.

October

PS Why would you sit on the toilet while it flushes?

Beantown_Mommy said...

I absolutely hate making phone calls, and I was a secretary for 4 years. I was a TERRIBLE secretary, I should say.

I also hate answering the door and almost never do. I can't see who's at the door before I open it, and I dread dealing with missionaries/ zealots/ kids selling stuff/ etc., and it seems like you read about too many people being knifed after opening the door. If I can see a FedEx truck on the street, then I might open it. Might.

so tired said...

OMG.... So I am not alone.

We call the unexpected knock a "pop in"....WE HATE THE POP IN. It's always when I still have my pajamas on at 1:00 in the afternoon. Never happens when I am ready!

I also avoid making phone calls, drives my husband crazy. I'll email anyone. I love the email communication. The phone call I avoid.

And I let the mail pile up. Like I've mentioned before, I avoid confrontation. Dealing with that mail means confronting lots of things.

I prefer to stay in my cocoon.

Sasha said...

I love mail. Really, I get all Steve Martin "The new phonebooks are here! The new phonebooks are here" when I see the mail truck. Mr. Sasha and I fight over who gets to get the mail from the mailbox. And I love paying bills. I'm just a freak like that.

BUT.... I cannot go through those round revolving doors and I cannot drive through a carwash that moves you along the track automatically. I will have an anxiety attack and it ain't pretty.

So yeah, we're all a little bat shit crazy.

Princess Peaches~n~Cream said...

So, Ashley, basically, you would be happy not to have to speak to the outside world ever again, and just to communicate through typing the rest of your life ;-) ?

clemsonlocal said...

I've gotten much better with the phone as I've gotten older...hate the surprise doorbell though. Maybe if I kept myself, house, etc. in better shape I wouldn't mind!!

AFRo said...

Oh yeah gurl. You are friggin nuts. That's why we love you though... for what you lack in human contact you more than make up for with your non-personal communictaion skills.

Maria said...

I HATE talking on the phone. And texting. And leaving messages. And listening to them. Hate it.

Anonymous said...

Oh I hate the phone! The only person I feel comfortable calling is my husband. I have to psyche myself up to call my grandmother once a week.

jenn said...

Man oh man, you should have seen me during the whole anthrax-in-the-mail scare. We had just moved to a new town and were renting a PO box while we house hunted. I had to go INTO THE ACTUAL POST OFFICE EVERY DAY to retrieve my mail. Meanwhile, every news report about anthrax and every Oprah show about disgruntled postal employees was playing in a constant panicked loop in my head while I guided my two toddlers into the Federal Building of Death to get my surely fatally tainted mail.

I, too, live in the woods. I'm considering witholding sex until my husband installs a peephole in the front door.

Oh, I gots some issues!

Anonymous said...

We are the same person. I am a recluse when not at work. Luckily I don't have kids so I never have to leave the house or answer the door if I don't want to. ;)

Jodi said...

She loves me, she loves me....
You just made me smile. Have a good weekend yourself, rube. and please come back. I miss you. WE miss you.

Jodi said...

oh, and I HATE phone calls and, generally speaking, the mail too. I seem to be able to mail out stuff to my American friends, though, quite easily.

Cake said...

LOL, I lurve you! I'm SO MUCH the same way from "duck and covering" from the UPS guy to the fact I haven't set foot in a Post Office/shipping place in over 3 years to when I used to make my bank CW place my outbound calls in exchange for doing her filing.

Issuz, I haz dem.

~Gretchen~ said...

Hello from's gretchenns DH. My wife is great on the phone. I'm the one who won't call anyone. But I have other craziness from her to handle. Don't worry, it makes us male types feel manly and protective.

Just Give H a great big hug and were something low-cut when he gets home at least once a week and he will continue to find your craziness adorable.

myhairsmellsdelicious said...

We joke around our house that the kids act like Amish children when the doorbell rings. We do not have family or friends close by and they act like little freaks when the bell rings. Even my near teenager runs to get me in fear of answering the door. I cannot believe I am admitting this. It sounds kinda crazy, but yeah . . .

PS
No offense to the Amish. They are good people . . . just do not have many doorbells.

Maggii said...

I've always hated making phonecalls..it's a phobia for me...LOL...


Just today I had to force myself to make calls for Bunko I'm supposed to be hosting this week....looks like my fears weren't unfounded though....as it looks like I'll be cancelling due to too many no shows this month. :(

October said...

I also hate wearing a bikini/bathingsuit. People tell me how wonderful it is to teach your infant how to swim, and I'm sure my boy would love it, but I just can't make myself strip down to the unflattering flesh in front of other people. Not even for him.

The_Joyous_Quintet said...

Have you taken the Kiersey test? So, what are you classified as? Extrovert or Introvert?

Now, you seem like an Extrovert online, but after reading the lastest blog entry, I am thinking you are an introverted personality.

Wild!

Mamalicious said...

I hate the phone. I cringe when it rings. I do not have voice mail at home or on my cell. I hate listening to messages.

I just want people to send me an email, is that so hard?

Tara said...

Woo hoo! Someone else who is afraid of revolving doors (one of your commenters, Sasha). I thought I was the only freak afraid of revolving doors. My family thinks I'm insane.

I used to be afraid of phones. Now it's mostly only confrontation that I'm afraid of. I'd rather die than call a kid's parent for behavior.