Tuesday, February 12, 2008

So

I decided to start cleaning up around here. I went in the office first because I saw little kid head in that direction and lo and behold, there he was, pen in hand.

So I took the pen away and attempted to lure him away from the area with a sock monkey he had in there.

When I saw the sock monkey I remembered that I bought those frames for those sock monkey prints I was going to buy for little kid's room.

Then I got to thinking that I am a photographer and I have sock monkeys and I shouldn't have to buy pictures that other people take of sock monkeys.

So I went and got my camera and set up a sock monkey in the window and began taking pictures.

Then I hear a crash behind me and see that little kid has pulled my purse off of the foyer table, spilling the contents everywhere, and has snatched my wristlet and is running off with it. Heidi Louise is snorting around blindly trying to gobble all of the crumbs, broken pretzels and cookies that spill on to the ground.

I turn around and pick up the mess and shove the crumbs in Heidi's direction so she'll stop being annoying and so they'll get picked up, and go off in search of my wristlet.

I find him in the kitchen, going through my credit cards, and realize it is lunch time. I open the freezer to see if there are any nuggets left and see that heart shaped ice cube mold I got at Ikea and start thinking about my Valentine's day party that is rapidly approaching and is still mostly unplanned.

I decide it would be much cuter if the heart shaped ice cubes were red, so I went searching for the Grenadine but only found cherry snow cone syrup (same difference). While I was searching, I realized I have a lot of stuff in the pantry that could be thrown away but decided that would have to wait, and began filling the ice tray.

Then I heard another crash and realized that little kid has pulled my purse back down and is rooting around with Heidi Louise.

Which makes me remember that it was lunch time. So I made some lunch.

Then I looked at the dishes and decided to check my email first. Then I decided to recount my last 30 minutes for you, as evidence of why I never get one thing accomplished.

Now I'm tired.

I kind of wouldn't mind going back to photographing the sock monkeys but priority wise I think I could probably find a better way to utilize my time. But none of those options sound fun, so I might just not do anything....

Edited to add: And I shit you not, I just went back into the office to find little kid with a pen. It's like that movie Groundhog's Day around here.

18 comments:

Zoinks! said...

Ashley-for a sec I believed Heidi was the nanny...

Teri said...

Ashley, I'm starting a collection to get you a maid, a nanny, a butler and a massesuse (sp). Honestly, you should be spending more time on here entertaining the rest of us with your talents. Not playing zone defense in a kiddie war zone :)

Catfish said...

I'm dizzy

margie said...

or something very similar to If You Give a Moose a Muffin..

long-time reader, first-time commenting.

please don't yell at me..lol

ginny said...

LOL, Margie, that's exactly what I was thinking, it's like some twisted Mommy version of one of the If you Give a __ and __ books...

Margaret said...

I agree with the others---I was about to say that it sounds like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie! :) Sounds like my days, too!

slacker mama said...

Uh...screw the search for the Oxycontin dealer! Get yourself some Adderal or Ritalin and FAST!

Sasha said...

Mr. Sasha and I saw Groundhog on one of our first dates.

As for the cleaning, just give up. Seriously, they make more messes anyway, so what's the use? That's my attitude these days. It's not like Better Homes and Gardens is coming for a photo shoot anytime soon.

Jamie said...

Maybe put the pens away?


;) j/k

Joy said...

I feel the same about the cleaning, if I clean it all up they just mess it up again and then it looks worse than it did before.

But unfortunatley FIL and his girlfriend are coming over tomorrow so that means I have no choice in cleaning up, he is a bit of a neat freak. At least he is bringing dinner so I don't have to cook.

AFRo said...

Halfway through your post I thought, "ADD Much" then I saw your label. Great minds certainly think alike.

I want to see the sock monkey pictures.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with the adderall comment :) Love the dog's name. I can't believe you feed your kid nuggets. You are trying to kill him aren't you!


*snort*

ErIn said...

Glad I'm not the only out there with major ADD! It drives my dh nucking futs!

ErIn said...

Glad I'm not the only ADD momma out there!

Hair Girl said...

You need to lock LK on the lanai for a while so you can get everything done. Just throw a bag of crackers out there with him- lunch.

Harmony said...

I hate that I am busy all day, with a million different tasks and at the end of it nothing is ever accomplished. My brain it just will not work with me!

Curvaceous, said...

Sounds like someone needs a martini

M said...

The story of my life really.

I'd be great if you lived near the boondocks. Little Kid could come over and take turns with Z jabbing each other in the eye while we drank Jack out of Texas Roadhouse cups.

Now, if you have any suggestions for keeping a little Houdini from getting in the fireplace and eating ash, I'd love to hear it.