Tuesday, February 5, 2008


I woke up at 8am after a long night of nightmares and sweating. I woke up I don't know how many times under my soaking wet down comforter, steaming as if in a sauna but scared to death to even take one toe out for air. I even gathered the courage to go to the bathroom at one point, hoping I'd come back and it would all stop, but the bad dream picked up where it left off.

So that is why I am up at the ungodly hour of 8am.

Remember how a few months ago someone named Scott Santos stole Mr. Ashley's credit card info and tried to buy sunglasses? And Mr. Ashley did the right thing and called the cops instead of driving over there and confronting said criminal? And the police just really didn't care and couldn't be bothered and were annoyed by Mr. Ashley's requests for justice?

Ironically, Mr. Ashley got a work request with this guy's name and address on it. So now this guy's financial future is in Mr. Ashley's hands. Tell me that isn't God at work?

Of course, Mr. Ashley is honest to a fault and wants to turn it down but we're in no position to turn down work. I say he goes over there, tell this guy his name sounds familiar, "remember" that he had an identity theft issue with a Santos but surely it couldn't be him, and walk out of there smiling like the cat that ate the canary.

What's this guy going to do? Call and tell someone that this isn't fair because he stole Mr. Ashley's identity way back, so they need to rework the deal?

You know he's going to be pooping his pants when Mr. Ashley introduces himself. Oh how fun!

I have some good stuff for you all today, my lovelies. My freaky friend is thinking up a Valentine Too Timid post and I have some other post ideas floating around in this empty head of mine.

I've got to go right now because little kid has already dumped instant Carnation breakfast all over the floor and Heidi Louise has licked it all up and made a sticky mess and then little kid hit me for taking a chair away so he can't play with stuff in the sink, so he got a time out and unmade his bed.

Thus starts another day....

(I don't know if that's really how you use the word 'thus' but it sounds good, so we're leaving it)


Anonymous said...

oh, please tell mr. ashley to go and talk to him. i need to read the story of justice served.

Melodie said...

Boy, you have got your hands full with lk. I don't think I could remake a bed as often as you have to. I think I'd just leave him sheetless.

Bad Mommy said...

Maybe as punishment the Santos guy could babysit LK for you? Then you could laze the day away at the nearest (or farthest) spa of choice.

Of course, Santos could be criminal.... I would arm LK.

Thanks for being such a good blogger and posting everyday. There's nothing I hate more than getting hooked on a good blog only to find the person NEVER actually posts.

Anonymous said...

Oh man I hate when I have nightmares, like you I can't rid of them. I fall back asleep only to pick off where it left off. Why can't that happen when my sex dreams with Matthew Mcconaughey are interrupted?!

SLC said...

Wow! I'm a firm believer in what goes around comes around. I hope you'll update us on how the confrontation goes.

Anonymous said...

Found you on the bloggies last week, checked you out, loved you, voted for you, bookmarked you....and now I'm commenting, just for you. lol 'Thus', I'm officially a fan of you!!

I'll be around... :)

Anonymous said...

I woke up like that last night too. I blame it on my hubby who's body temp must be about 150 freakin' degrees.

Anonymous said...

Been lurking for a while but I understand that you work for comments. And I need you to keep working, because this blog is my daily dose of humor. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

I had a night very similar to yours.
Weird. Pretty soon our cycles will be in sync.

Can't wait for the next Too Timid post.

Anonymous bs

Jamie P said...

Oh, that encounter will surely make for a good post!

Sandy said...

Can't wait to hear Santos' reaction! Oh and crib sheets suck - quit making the bed!

Anonymous said...

2 things -
1. I had nightmares all night too...but I watched that stupid show about the DUGGARS building their huge house, right before going to bed. Well I dreamt about that puff haired lady allllll night!
2. Mr. Catfish also got his wallet stolen and we have fraud alert on our cards and we could LITERALLY track the theif's progression on Washington Ave and the cops did, NADA...Mr.C was on his way out the door to find the thief himself when I convinced him that wasn't a good idea.
Sorry about the LONG comment ;)

Mac said...

Found your blog just now and I'd like to commend your sass! Your banner really says it all haha - I look forward to reading more posts. Have a lovely day :-)!

Anonymous said...

Wanna tick off little kid?

Have someone sew a giant pillow case or pillow sham for his crib mattress.

Velcro closure on the bottom so he can't reach but easy enough for you to change his sheets for washing.

Nothing like a little toddler revenge.

Slacker Mama said...

Have you tried those ultimate crib sheet things? They don't even go around the mattress, just hook onto the crib bars and cover the top. Maybe you could use one on top of the crib sheet to provide an extra layer of protection?

Anonymous said...

I think Mr Ashley should totally use this to his advantage. Its called a God Smack!

I agree with the other poster- use a giant pillowcase. You have to take the whole mattress out anyway to make the bed , slide that puppy on and then he will really throw a good tantrum.

Anonymous said...

Oh I can't wait to hear about the encounter.

Love the new look


Jennchez said...

Karma is a bitch. I hope Mr. Ashley brings the wrath down on Santos!

Found your blog on yesterday and am hooked. Good luck with LK.