Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Big Kid Wants A Pet

Big Kid: Do you memember dat one time we were at da mall, at da pet store in da mall, where all da aminals wiv?

Ashley: Yes.

Big Kid: I dest want to have one of dose aminals for a pet of my own.

Mr. Ashley: No way.

Ashley: What kind of pet were you thinking about?

Big Kid: Maybe one of dose wittle tuwtles in da tank?

Ashley: No, those are gross. They smell bad and they have special germs and if you touch them and then the germs get in your mouth, they'll make you sick. So no way on the turtles.

Big Kid: Maybe a kitten? (looking around, spotting one of our cats) Tangewine wants a kitten.

Ashley: Um, no, she really doesn't. She has Pearl and she barely even lives here anymore now that she's discovered the outdoors. No more cats.

Big Kid: You know what I would weally wike to have? Weally weally a whole whole wot?

Ashley: What?

Mr. Ashley: No!

Big Kid: A guinea pig. Dey have wots of dem at da pet store. Dey are cuuuuuuute....

Ashley: How about a gold fish? You can get your own tank and keep it in your room and everything!

Big Kid: OKAY! Hey, where is Fish? I will go feed him now.

Mr. Ashley: Time for bed, go get your pajamas on.

Big Kid: Awwww, man!


I believe I mentioned it, but Fish died months ago. We have managed to distract Big Kid whenever he has brought it up and hope to continue doing so.

We used to have a fish named Mr. Noodle and when he died we told Big Kid that he was away on Sabbatical in Japan (he was a Japanese Fighting Fish). That worked out well because you say the word "sabbatical" to a 2 year old and their eyes just glaze over. Eventually he totally forgot about it and we're hoping he does the same with Fish.

Can I thank Wonder Pets for introducing the idea of a Guinea Pig? You know those rodents are totally worthless and nothing like Lenny on Wonder Pets. It's false advertising and I don't want a fucking Guinea Pig. Rodents gross me out and reptiles are an ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN sort of thing.

I really still want a goat. That's way cooler than a fish PLUS it would help out with the yard work. Maybe the Easter Bunny will bring a baby goat. He's a wild and crazy guy, that Easter Bunny. Also, once the goat gets on the property, it's pretty much a done deal. Kids see it, DONE. No turning back. You're the proud owner of a baby goat right then and there.

I can't control the Easter Bunny.

13 comments:

Teri said...

I vote goat. Guineas and hamsters are evil. By god, they eat their young. Even I'm not that bad....

Donna said...

Honey, you don't want a goat. I love goats. I've had at least 15 goats in my time. They climb on your vehicles. They eat your flowers, shrubs, and trees. They poop on everything on which they climb.

You do NOT want a goat.

Tara said...

I think a goat sounds good. :)

Joy said...

OMG I would freakin pee my pants with laughter if the Easter bunny brought a goat.

Guinea pigs are kinda cute the fuzzy ones atleast when I worked we had one there (it was an animal hospital) anyways he was funny and made great squeaky noises when ever he heard you getting into the veggie drawer of the fridge-he loved veggies. But their cages tend to stink if you don't clean them almost every day so I would never have one at my house.

AFRo said...

How does Mr. Ashley feel about the goat issue?

And from reading donna's comments above...sounds like you better think that one through pretty well before the Easter Bunny delivers because I personally would be pissed if I walked out one morning and a goat was standing on the hood of my car shitting. Seriously. Talk about starting your day off right.

the driftwood collector said...

Maybe what you need is a pet rock. No poop, no smell, no biting. I'm just sayin'...

ErIn said...

My dh wants a goat. Ain't happening, no way, no how! Plus, every Puerto Rican around would be sitting outside our yard offering to buy it.

**disclaimer, no offense to Puerto Ricans, my own MIL is one, but the one's around me raise/sell these suckers for food.**

Anonymous said...

Little kid would throw a pet rock (from the highest point he could reach with his folding chair). I vote for the fish.

NY Bitch said...

Mr. Noodle?

Sabbatical in Japan? GENIUS.

Kelly said...

Just get him some sea monkeys.

Anonymous said...

It's Linny, not Lenny. She's a girl.

Tell him about the poop pellets and he might change his mind!

Anonymous said...

Haha - Love the whole sabbatical speach. Our dog died a year a go and my 4 year old still tells people he's in Antarctica taking care of the penguins.

Buttercup said...

BK so needs a goat, this is will help Mr. Ashley with the yardwork and all that. Little Midget Goats with those alien eyes.