Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Running Out of Titles

Well, another day off for The Jews. Big Kid woke up 5 minutes ago and has already begged to play Jenga, Wii and Nick Jr. on the computer.

little kid drank the last of the milk (which means no milk for my coffee) and initiated a fight with Big Kid that resulted in him flipping off of the couch. Right now he is screaming at the dogs for taking too long to get to the front door.

Speaking of school, 2 of the class moms have already RSVPed for the V-day playdate and were adequately impressed with both my idea and invitations. HA. I never did find those paper clips by the way.

Big Kid says that Julia has a loose tooth.

Big Kid: You know Juwia? In my cwass?
Ashley: Yep
Big Kid: Her toof is woose and she wiggles and wiggles and wiggles it ebery day dest wike dis (pretends to wiggle front tooth)
Ashley: Seriously?? Her tooth is loose??
Big Kid: Yes, all da kids hab da baby teefs and da baby teefs start to wiggle and you wiggle dem and wiggle dem and dey fall out and den big gwoned up teefs gwow in.

Now I know that this happens and I'm familiar with the process...but already? At 4? I guess I just never really thought it happening to me, little less soon.

Can I confess now that the whole loose tooth thing FREAKS ME OUT? Ugh. It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. It is so gross and weird.


So I guess I have that to look forward to any day now.

Today I'm going to the other coast for a photography seminar. I don't want to go just because it sounds like a big hassle and I know the whole thing will make me tired and it doesn't get out until 11pm and then I'll have a long ride home in front of me.

I do want to go because I am BADLY in need of an escape and it is all about babies and maternity shoots. You know what this means, right? I'll want to be pregnant by the end of today.

I am a sucker for the sight of a smooth, round, tight belly and I have a short memory for the back pain, hip pain, chafing, exhaustion, insomnia, heartburn and being attacked from the inside by a little person who will continue their attacks for at least 18 years once they escape.

Maybe I could get pregnant, do some maternity photos of myself and some newborn shots and then give the baby to a convent? Do people still do that?

The photographer giving the seminar is the woman who started the organization where they do the pro bono work for parents of terminal babies and children. Ugh. This time I'm getting a spot by the door and I'm out of there when the sad stuff starts. I will bring a small cash donation to make up for my inability to sit through it again. I just can't, I'm still haunted by the last time.

So I won't be around to entertain you all today, you may as well clean up your house or actually do the work that you get paid to do. Slackers.

I'll see you later, alligators.

Edited to add: Before anyone starts with the "you're evil" thing regarding my inability to look at totally tragic, heart wrenching images, I do want to publicly announce that I contacted an organization that takes photos of foster kids looking for placement and they are calling me the next time they need a photographer. I AM A GOOD PERSON. I know most of you know that, but just thought I'd throw some evidence out there for those of you who have your doubts.


Melodie said...

What are the Jews off for today? I didn't think they celebrated the Catholic holiday of Ash Wednesday.

clemsongirlandthecoach said...

I have a deal for you Ashley. Cook that baby, deliver that baby, get that baby to GA and I'll take over.

Caveats: 1. Must have curly hair. 2 MUST be a girl.


I could never look at those photos either. Too sad, too heartbreaking. Why would that make either of us bad people?

Red said...

I couldn't look at those pictures either. Heck, I'm such a sap that I can't watch the Pedigree dog food commericals!

And you mean I'm actually going to have to do real work today instead of being entertained by you? Crap!! : )

Suzanne said...

I totally hear you about the photos. When my ds (who will turn 7 this month) was a newborn, there was some show (maybe 20/20) that was all about the orphanages in Romania. They showed all the horrible videos of babies rocking themselves in cribs that they had been in all day, healthy newborns who were all laid side-by-side on a wheeled cart, etc. I started crying (bawling actually)and had to change the channel. Just too much for me. At the time, I thought maybe it was the hormones making me so sensitive, but 7 years later, those images are still with me....

Anonymous said...

I don't see why you should have to justify that. Are there people who want to MAKE you look at those pictures? I understand the need and I am grateful there are people out there who want to and are able to do it. Bless them. But otherwise, we are all different in what we can handle. If someone has a problem with someone else not being able to look at or listen to a presentation of such upsetting images, they need to step off. That is ridiculous.

Bad Mommy said...

You? Evil? Never!

Hmmm, there are convents, but I don't think they take babies. All the nuns are getting too old.

Have a good time! Come back quickly to entertain us all!!

Anonymous said...

You mean, I actually have to work at work today? Bah! So not going to happen. Entertain me NOW.

k e r r y said...

eww - the loose tooth thing weirds me out too - and my kids know this and torture me with it!

Anonymous said...

You know, I'm a dental assistant and my ds is in the process of losing his first tooth and it totally gives me the willies.

Joy said...

Let me start by saying I am gonna try to stop being a slacker and stop posting under anonymous and actually sign in.

Now we all know deep, deep down inside you are a good person I can't look at those pictures either. This morning they were doing the radiothon for St. Judes on the radio I can't even listen cause I feel so bad I have no money to give.

Have fun learn lots and get back here and post, I do not want to clean my house or fold this laudry.

Joy said...

Oh and I forgot about the tooth thing The Kindergartener has just lost his second. I'm gonna send the video of us pulling it to AFV we tied a string around it then to little evil's four wheeler she took off and out the tooth came!!! He thinks it is so funny

Melissa said...

I don't think I could look at those pictures either. Too heartbreaking.

I'm bummed that you won't be around to entertain everyone, but enjoy your seminar!

KatieGirlBlue said...

Christ almighty - when did it become de rigueur for "good people" to watch/stare at/listen to/read about/talk about sad and miserable and hopless and scary things? It's the new politics, the new "summer in Tuscany." Suddenly, all my friends talk about are rebels and genocide and torture. When can we talk about my new jeans?

See? You're not a bad person; you're leagues better than I.

Jena said...

I wrote a story about that group once -- WHILE I was pregnant. It was heartbreaking.

FunnyGal KAT said...

You're taking the rest of the day off from blogging? We're not paying you to attend seminars and parent your kids... we're paying you to entertain us! Oh wait, that's right, we're not actually paying you. Fine, go have a life for the day. But you'd best be back to entertaining us by tomorrow!

Anonymous said...

Gah loose teeth. I could never deal with that when I was a kid, either. Which is why, I guess, I had to have teeth removed at the dentist in large chunks (my four middle bottom teeth at the same time! good thinkin with that one, dentist). Man, when I have a kid, I will not be able to deal with that.

Also, 4 does seem a bit young, maybe the girl got in a gang fight or something and had her tooth almost knocked by a wayward punch.

Love your blog, by the way!


Anonymous said...

I love when you write out exactly what Big Kid says, in exactly the way he pronounces it. Makes me smile everytime :)

I can't look at sad pictures either. I don't think that makes anyone a bad person, just makes them sensitive..and what is wrong with that?

Slacker Mama said...

Actually, the word you are looking for is E-bull (a la Big Kid).

I agree with everyone else. Not wanting to see those photos does not make you evil. What a heartbreaking thing to look at...I know I couldn't bear to do it.

But good for you on the foster care placement photography! That sounds really awesome.

Margaret said...

Oh, the loose tooth thing freaks me out, too. I literally gag when I see a child with a loose tooth. Luckily, my oldest is only 2 so we don't have to deal with that for a few more years (or maybe a couple?!?!) but I'm already planning on threatening time-outs and spankings if I have to look at loose teeth!!

Anonymous said...

The thinking you are a bad person part, some people are just stupid, we can't help them so we have to deal with them.
There was a lady on the BB I think that had a pick of her stillborn in her siggy....I couldn't stand it, that was the whole reason I turned them off on my pc. Made me sad and freaked me out every time!
Have fun today, we will be anxiously awaiting your return.
Oh and remember if you want to be pregnant by the end of the day, but it might be another little kid! I have one just like him! He encouraged me to close up shop but then again he was my
3rd :).

AFRo said...

My oldest will be seven in July... still no woose teef here. Thank GOD! The Episcopals conducted school today but they started it out with the whole ash ritual. Whatever... they blessed my kids which is always a good thing.

Molly Schief said...

Honey, I'd be out as soon as the sad stuff starts too!!

Jamie P said...

Hope you're having a fun and educational day!

Unknown said...

I absolutely agree about the loose tooth thing! I've taught kinder and first the last seven years and I HATE when the kids come up to show me their wiggly teeth. I have no idea what I'm gonna do when my little one's teeth start to get wiggly!

Anonymous said...

I truly believe that you are a good person. Not that it matters what I think anyhow. I hate when you have something other than us to do (heehee).
Have fun and leave before the sad stuff. Self preservation...we all need to sometimes.

Anonymous said...

As for the teeth, you might have more time than you know. My now 2nd grader was one of the last kids in his class to lose a tooth (he was 6)but my now kindergartner started losing them at 4 years old.
I wouldn't be able to look at those pictures either. There will probably be other people there trying to beat you out the door. Have a safe trip!

Anonymous said...

I must be the odd one out...I actually went on the site the other day and looked at the pics. I was researching that organization for a friend who will need it soon :(

They are sad to look at but I think it's so honorable that people will do that for others. My daughter has had some health problems and our needing those kinds of services was once well within the realm of possibility.

But I can't fault others for not wanting to look, before all this happened to us I never would have been able to either.

Anonymous said...

Hope you had a good time!

Loose teeth fascinate me :X but DS, 5, hasn't had any yet.