Thursday, February 7, 2008

Damnit!

JUST ONCE I would like to enjoy my lunch without having to give every other bite to little kid. I even make sure to feed him first, on the rare occasion I attempt to eat lunch, in the hopes that he will no longer be hungry, but I don't think it is that he is hungry, I think it is a control thing.

Child, you have destroyed my body, wreaked havoc on my mind, depleted my energy levels and sapped me of my intelligence...just let me have my lunch. I don't even eat it every day.

And Big Kid, get that camera out of my face before I slap you down paparazzi style. The only thing more annoying than having a little person standing at your shoulder, grabbing your fork and shrieking if you eat two bites in a row, is having someone standing 6 inches in front of your face documenting it all with his VSmile.

I'm not kidding you two. I have $100 in my wallet and I WILL run away. That will get me at least two hours from here. Then I'll just sleep in the truck or something.

23 comments:

LuvMy2Girlz80 said...

LOL - ah, so glad to be at work today. I have about $40 on me; I could chip in and we could make it a road trip. If there's enough kids in the house, they could occupy themselves. They act like we don't exist anyway. (Until we have food) :D

Princess Peaches~n~Cream said...

Here is a way to prove it's a control thing. Sit down with him. Give hime the EXACT same thing you are eating. If he still wants yours, he is trying to prove his dominance.

My children proved theirs years ago.

Maria said...

*lmao*

I have that same problem. I've regulated my lunch to nap time.


[Been lurking for a while. Finally thought I'd say something. :)]

slacker mama said...

I always eat with the girls...and if they take a bite of mine, I take a bite of theirs.

And I hate hate hate those V-smile cameras. I have more shots of my double-chin and ass taken in an hour than anyone should have taken in their lifetime.

PixieVonAzia said...

Hi..Love your blog =) The same thing happens with my kid. I make her food first place it down and let her gobble it up. Then I make mine and hide in my office then when she's done, comes looking for me and stands by my plate with her mouth wide open.

Tracey said...

Ashley - I could snag DD's stash of cash that we haven't deposited yet...it's like $300. That won't get me anything at that swanky spa you went to, would it??

Ahhh, My 2 yr old DD never begs off my plate. Kind of sucks because everyone else I know says that's how they get their kids to eat new foods, if they see you eating it they want some too. Not my DD... unless it's chocolate!! Then she's all over me like white on rice!!

plslade said...

That's hilarious... mine are the same way! Except my oldest won't eat anything and the little one eats whatever she sees!

I've got 30 cents to add to your $100! Can I get the hell outta Dodge too?

Melodie said...

It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's toddler demands to eat my food. Even if she's happily eating her own food, if she sees me with food, she's suddenly "all done" with her food and starts demanding "BITE(s)" of mine.

Teri said...

That is exactly why I only eat when the children are sleeping. Little butt monkeys.

Take the V-smile with you on your trip. I wanna see how far one can go on a hundred bucks. You know, in case we all decide to bolt.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Heather said...

I feel the same way. One day I would love to eat my meal, take a shower and mabye a shit in peace. Nobody tring to eat my food, get in my shower or tell me what they did in school while I am trying to poop. Is that too much to ask?

Tracey said...

Heather - Yes, apparently it is.
LOL

Cake said...

Sweetie, are you pregnant? I've noticed a *tone* that I only get when with child.

;)

Dear god I hope so ;)

Anonymous said...

That's why God invented hot sauce. That'll teach 'em. -- Stella

Heather said...

My gosh- we are going through the same thing here (8/06 baby). You'd think I'd be a size zero at this point. *sigh*
I, also, would love to be able to go to the bathroom without having company. So annoying. I know this is a comment on a comment, but I'm SICK of it! ugh.
Happy thursday :)

Catfish said...

AHHHH I love the hot sauce idea! A little e-bull and a lot funny! I was going to donate to your get-away-fund but...I actually need to borrow $200 bucks.
xo

The_Joyous_Quintet said...

From now on, put something on your plate that you *know* he does not like (olives, mustard, tuna?), and ASK him to eat. ASK HIM rather than he ask you.

The second I move my fork towards my son's mouth encouraging him to eat, he jerks back and runs away. Now, if I protest about him *wanting* my food, he wants it.

Reverse psychology, baby. Works like a charm!

Joy said...

Well mine is on a food strike not really sure how a 2yr old can go on about 4 bites of food a day, and those 4 bites were of my cereal! I wish she could teach me maybe I could loose a few pounds.

Oh and I have posed and not posed for many a shot by the kiddy camera

Kdog22314 said...

Hey Ashley...found your blog on the Bargain Board and it has become my new favorite thing to read...absolutely hilarious!!! Keep up the good work!

Dayna

Diva said...

Am I really the only person with a little fat man that just wants my chips? He gets up on his tippy toes takes a look at my plate no chips I'm safe, chips he's harrassing me until he gets at least half of them.
Now if I could just get him to stop pointing that fat little finger at me we would be in business. Well and he head-butting needs to go too, and the biting, pinching and hitting. Yeah we have a long way to go and here I was feeling so good about him at the begining of my comment....sigh.

Beantown_Mommy said...

I only eat lunch during my daughter's naptime, too. When I say that to other mommies in my mommy groups, they are horrified that she and I don't eat together. What the F ever - I want to eat in peace!

My daughter will even beg for leaves of baby romaine. She's only 2 - what's wrong with her? She won't eat mac and cheese or hot dogs, but she wants my baby romaine?

morgan said...

Who the hell has time for lunch?!?! I just barely get captain in his crib, all the while he's pointing his finger at me like evil monkey from family guy, then dj fudge has something else destroyed or covered in poop. By the time all that's done, it's time to pick the big one up from school.
Yeah, I'm jealous of people who can eat lunch.