JUST ONCE I would like to enjoy my lunch without having to give every other bite to little kid. I even make sure to feed him first, on the rare occasion I attempt to eat lunch, in the hopes that he will no longer be hungry, but I don't think it is that he is hungry, I think it is a control thing.
Child, you have destroyed my body, wreaked havoc on my mind, depleted my energy levels and sapped me of my intelligence...just let me have my lunch. I don't even eat it every day.
And Big Kid, get that camera out of my face before I slap you down paparazzi style. The only thing more annoying than having a little person standing at your shoulder, grabbing your fork and shrieking if you eat two bites in a row, is having someone standing 6 inches in front of your face documenting it all with his VSmile.
I'm not kidding you two. I have $100 in my wallet and I WILL run away. That will get me at least two hours from here. Then I'll just sleep in the truck or something.