Two things I forgot to mention in the novel which follows. First, it is REALLY fun to bring a professional quality camera into a nightclub. EVERYONE looks at you and everyone smiles, in the hopes that you're a photographer for one of the many social scene websites or publications.
Secondly, this whole night was laden with Mormonisms. So anytime there was penis talk, pussy talk, shrieking/squealing/giggling, there would also be a chorus of "SHUT THE front door" (instead of shut the fuck up...very lady like of us) or "Good Golly Graciousness" (in a shocked, Southern Belle tone) and our very favorite and waaay overused..."Sweeeeeeeeet Niblets" (this was also said 5x louder than necessary and in an unnatural octave).
So when you're reading any of the conversations or exchanges...picture at least two other girls screaming "SWEEEEEET NIBLETS" in the background.
Also, for those of you thinking that you saw too much in the pictures below....go ahead and Thank God that I put forth a little effort to edit them. Because what I saw, I will never be able to erase from my mind. Ever. Burning out my retinas with a hot poker wouldn't make me forget.
(It was pierced too...gag)