Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dear Ashley,

Hi! This is your nose. I know it is weird for me to write you a letter, but I don't know how else to get through to you.

I know that the blackhead issue that we've been having has just recently come to your attention. I have been scrutinized, scrubbed, squeezed, sterilized, prodded and gouged with that weird metal tool you have (that thing totally hurts by the way, it is barbaric).

Yes, our clogged pore issue is getting better...but I am turning into a scab. Even worse, you STILL (especially?) can't leave me alone now that there is peeling skin involved.

Stop touching me. Stop picking at me. Stop staring at me. Stop putting stuff on me.

You are a freak.

Also, stop considering a nose job. I'm not THAT bad. Jesus, like I'm so bad you'd rather pay to have me broken and cut open and mutilated? That is so not your style. The boobs, yeah...they need help. But please, find something else to focus your attention on.

k?thxbai,

Your Nose

11 comments:

Princess Peaches~n~Cream said...

Your nose speaks in IM! I'm impressed. Mine just scowls at me.

Nicole said...

I've heard that reg. Buttermilk will bring out any yucky, cloggy, gross stuff. Apply with a cotton ball for 10 days.

Joy said...

There is no way I could get a nose job I have watched too many on Dr90210 it looks way to painful.

Now a boob job I agree I could so go for one I just need to find a way to raise the funds!

slacker mama said...

I've always wanted wone of those metal tools, but have restrained myself. I know that my face would be one big dented and scabby mess from me trying to extract what lies in the pores beneath.

marcellehaszitstoo said...

I must have one of those metal tools! I saw one at Sephora once & thought that perhaps I would be lining myself up for months of bloodiness. Couldn't do it. Maybe I'll change my mind. Then again, maybe not.

jennyandcompany said...

omg you sound just like my husband! he picks at pimples on his face until his face is a big nasty scab, then for days he smears half a tube of neosporin on it and covers it will big bandaids (not in public, that would just be weird). and of course he can't leave the scabs alone, he has to pick at them trying to make them go away. it's freaking RE-diculous. I have to hide my tweezers from him.

Anonymous said...

eww.

Jamie said...

I've always wanted a nose job. Too bad I have no money and I am afraid of pain!

AFRo said...

Freak.

Cosmos said...

Try those Biore strips for the nose. I'm addicted, they really make a difference. They pull the whiteheads/blackheads right out of the skin, it's very satisfying.

mumo3 said...

Those metal tools should be listed in the Geneva Convention(!?!?) as a torture device- to be used on no one!! I bought one years ago at Body Shop- serious damage, man!!
You are so fortunate to have such open communication with your zits. I do believe I have been known, during moments of weakness (or conflict with my mother), to render mine completely submissive. Unable to utter even the slightest protest.
Listen to the zit!! It is wise beyond words.