Sunday, February 10, 2008

Oh God!

9:02am We are out of Excedrine. Shit.

This can't be happening to me. Not now. Not today.

I really might die this time. I know I've said it before but I was just being dramatic then. If I don't see you all again, know that I loved you.

9:46am Well, if I don't die, E-bull might. Today, either all of the drawers get baby locks on them, or I move out. Period.

(If I don't die that is, I think that is the most likely scenario. This can't be a hangover or a migraine, this is definitely an aneurysm or a brain tumor or a concussion or blood on the brain or something big time like that. Nothing to joke about. Oh God, I just want to go lie on my cold, dirty bathroom floor and dry heave. I like how Mr. Ashley thinks getting up with the kids 6 days a week means he gets to sleep until 10am on his day. Fuuuuuuck, someone tell that kid to be QUIET.)

10:02am I'd trade a blow job for 2 Excedrine. It's that bad.

10:12am Scratch that last part about the blowjob, Mr. Ashley offered to go to the store. (Don't tell him that offer was ever on the table. k?thxbai)

10:21am Is it illegal, or just not recommended, to lock your 1 year old out on the back lanai? Technically, it is still part of the house. I really can't imagine that there is a law against being separated by glass. Right?

10:45am Guess who found a Sharpie? You'll never guess!

Here's the other one. The one that is less likely to end up in the Police Beat in the paper one day.

Mr. Ashley just got back and the damn corner store wanted $10 for their Excedrine! That's what happens when you live in the woods, people can rape you for essential items and call it fair commerce under the theory of supply and demand. Bastards. So he got me Motrin instead. He may as well have gotten me peanut M&Ms...no way is Motrin going to take care of a tumor. Now he's trying to lure little kid away from me with powdered doughnuts. God bless him.

(By the way, anyone who is feeling sorry for Big Kid because his mom is obviously too lazy to take him for a hair cut...we've decided to go shaggy a la Zack & Cody style. A decision prompted by my laziness, but a decision nonetheless.)

I'm going back to bed. Pray that the Motrin works a miracle.

18 comments:

Teri said...

Aggggh, holy crap, I feel for you. Send E-Bull to the store, posthaste.

Cake said...

OMG, I feel your pain. We have no advil here this morning and I'm considering chewing Children's Motrin tablets.

jennifer said...

i totally know that feeling, omg, it so sucks. i hope you don't die....i really enjoy the reading. although i swear sometimes you're looking in the window watching my 4yo and 16mo. wake mr ashley up. take something, and go to sleep!

Heather said...

Tell Mr.Ashley since he stayed in bed late to get his ass to the store and get you some damn Excedrine. Just don't tell him you were trying to trade for a bj so he does not think he is gonna get one.

Maria said...

Percocet.
It saves lives.

holly said...

Sister, I feel your pain... literally. I never drink, and last night I had 3 margaritas, a Jager Bomb (never a good idea, really) and a beer. No, that isn't a lot but I don't ever drink so it really is.

Maria- where can a girl get a Percocet? I truly believe in the power of them. Hook a sister up, yo.

Lock the Ebull on the lanai, we shall not tell. Give him some benedryl and force a nap on him.

Your favorite,
Holly

Teri said...

OMG, BK is freaking adorable. Can we arrange a marriage with one of my girls? I've got 3 to choose from....

whereismymind said...

Take some comfort in knowing you are not alone... Why pick the nights before it's daddy's turn to sleep in to do this to myself?!?!?

whereismymind said...

I have no idea if my last comment made any sense. I am hungover and running on very little sleep... The publish button was hit before I even re-read it... So, disregard if it was all jacked up!

Cake said...

Your boys are so cute!!

I like BK's hair and I crack.up. at the E-Bull little smile when LK gets busted!

AFRo said...

Today has been declared a day of rest for mom at my house and I haven't left the bed. It's WONDERFUL. The hubby brought coffee and toast and eggs and the computer AND he banished the kids for the afternoon.

Tammy said...

Hope the headache/tumor went away. Brutal to feel that crappy without any meds to help.

E-bull is too cute....easy for me to say as he isn't wrecking my house or doing bad things to skittles bags in my prescence, ;).

Also, BK is just too cute with his lack of a haircut look. I'd try for the arranged marriage but dd is almost 8 and that would be making her a cougar at an early age-so not cool. :)

Jacqueline said...

You know, by updating your original post instead of creating a new one my usually-fantastic google reader hasn't picked you up all day. Dammit. That means I've been actually accomplishing useful things while I could have been keeping updated with the work of LK and the cuteness of BK. Come on now, we can't let that happen.

jennyandcompany said...

duh, don't you know cvs pays you to take excedrin off their shelves? i have like 6 bottles i can send you. so what do you even go to the bargain board for if you aren't going to stockpile of bunch of useless shit?

j/k - see, i'm trying to fit in, is it working?

Melodie said...

Your boys are too cute. And you know they always make the E-Bull ones cute... They wouldn't survive if they weren't!

Jamie said...

Motrin is shit. Excedrin is the only thing that works! WTH Mr. Ashley? That is NOT something to cheat out on!

Joy said...

This is why I have held onto my stash. I had the flu last week and felt like shit Percocet really does the job, thank God I had some in the closet! But it really sucked when the kindergartener (who was also sick) woke me up at 2am I was so messed up and almost fell over walking to his room.

I hope it helped I am off to finish reading.

BTW oh my the boys are oh so cute as usual, my little one is good to go with either. She could go for someone older or younger she really doesn't mind as long as they are cute. She is adorable I might add, they would make beautiful kids!

Catfish said...

I LOVE when BK's hair is long, you haven't done that since he was a little guy!