Thursday, February 21, 2008

E-bull Strikes Again

little kid is locked in his room, probably until he is 18.

I am on Mr. Ashley's computer, researching The Safe Haven Law...you know, the one that lets mothers drop babies off at fire stations and hospitals, no questions asked?

I guess 18 month olds don't qualify...and that is why he will be in his room until he is 18.

For his own safety.

Because today while I was in the bathroom, doing surgery on my own eyeball, which took me less than 2 minutes, he was doing this:





I am practically speechless. Past the screams of devastation upon first discovery, done with the sobbing, wrapping up the muttered threats and hissed curse words, and onto speechlessness.

50 comments:

Tracey said...

O M G !!! Wow, he is E-Bull!! I would have been crying too!! DD did that to my laptop ONCE, she got 3 keys off in a split second. her little sticky fingers are the perfect size. I don't think she even meant to pull the keys off. I am so sorry, Ashley, guess you need to find room on top of that fridge of yours for your laptop too!!

Jennifer said...

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

NJmamma said...

OH MY GOD!!!!! I am so sorry for your poor computer, but very thankful that it wasn't my three year old. (it is something he would do and then proudly show off his work).
I think that if you showed the police the computer they would at least put him in protective custody.

Amanda said...

HOLY SHIT BALLS!!!

Misty said...

OH SHIT!!! I am speechless!!!

kimberly.madden said...

you are justified in calling your kid an asshole here

Melissa said...

OH WOW... I don't know how I'd handle that one. I'd be pissed as hell!

Anonymous said...

O.M.G. How the heck do little kids know how to screw grown up stuff up so bad? I'm not sure that last sentence of mine made sense. Oh well.

Dre the Texican said...

They pop right back on. The witchy one is the space bar, but usually that one is fine, too. He just wants to play with your toy. Talk it out. KIDDING. But it is fixable. I've taken all the keys off to clean underneath before (yes, I am crazy and have too much time on my hands). Lovez Dre.

kimberly.madden said...

maybe Dell can direct you to a place to fix it?

Lacy said...

WTF! Was he playing kickball with it or something. Fuck I would be pissed.

slacker mama said...

http://www.wikihow.com/Pop-a-Key-Back-Onto-a-Dell-Laptop-Keyboard

Ashley said...

holy shit.. i'd lock him up too

Renee said...

OH....MY.....GOODNESS. This is his most destructive act of destruction yet. NOOOOOOOO....I'm so sorry!

bethany said...

Normally you could pop the keys back on, but from the picture, some of the buttons look seriously screwed. You can buy replacement keyboards on auction sites for pretty cheap though. I had to do that for DH's computer when he spilled pop all over it. :) I can't believe the stuff that LK does anyway!

ErIn said...

Looks like the little guy took "Trash Terminating Thursday" a little to far.....

Sorry, that blows!

Jodi said...

Jesus Almighty. Those damn things are NOT easy to get off. I know cuz when I spilled my yummy pomengranate cider all over my laptop, I struggled to pick those little fuckers off....
Poor you.

Mom of 5 said...

OH SHIT. I have no other words.

jenn in Maine said...

Daaaaaaamn. He's good.

Amy said...

Holy f*ck that is some destruction right there!!!!! LK should be hiding in his room if he knows what's good for him ;) ....omg..... Good....luck? fixing it? I think most of them will pop back on but still.... never quite the same. UGH.

Kate said...

Sorry I'm still snickering - he must be the most freakishly strong 18 month old alive! Maybe you could enter him into a Strong Man competition and make him earn enough for a new computer..... It is a little funny...that sound you hear is my muffled snickering.

Teri said...

OMFG, Ashley, breathe. I swear to god, it's gonna be okay. I know E-bull is, well, evil and that all you wanna do is knock his block off. That's okay too, we understand. Keep him locked away.

Monica said...

HOLY SHIZZLE!!!!!!

Have you told Mr Ashley yet?

megs said...

Oh in the name of everything that's holy....Are those keys popped off or smashed? They looked smashed? I would cry so hard it's not even funny.

mlatulip said...

OUCH!

I am so sorry. :(

Kerry said...

Man he is fast and into everything!!! How's your eye?

mommymo said...

I am speechless! This is one of the moments where, as a bystander, it's better just to keep your mouth shut and walk away...

Maggii said...

OMG!!! and he's still alive???

LOL.....off to hug my grown kids.... I didn't realize how lucky I was when they were growing up! Of course I never had a Laptop for them to destroy back then either....

~Tara said...

OH. MA. GAWD.

captain destroyer did a doozy this time!! Holy Sheet!!!

That sucks big time Ash. I feel for ya. big ((hug))

AFRo said...

You should bite him again. Damn. I'm sorry.

Rachael Davis said...

I have never seen anything like that - it's as if he planned this attack for weeks. Hmmmm, maybe he's got some barely concealed rage toward your laptop?

Melody said...

I am aware that I don't know you, but I felt obligated to share in your pain. My youngest child once did that to my husband's work laptop. He was successful in repairing most of the damage, but the 4 and p were gone forever RIP.

Good luck with that!

Major Martyr said...

Yes, you’re hurting and I feel ya. I looked up a replacement and they are around $50 for a full keyboard. Good news, they are not too difficult to replace (I have had to take apart a couple of Dell laptops). I have been wanting to start a laptop graveyard for just these occasions, where something goes wrong on one part of a laptop. It would be a lot cheaper than having to buy new parts. If he does anymore damage to it, let me know.

Felt like a vulture typing that last sentence, sorry.

Anonymous said...

omg I would be mortified!

poor ashley's computer!

Cake said...

O.M.GAWD!!!!!!!!! I didn't know my jaw could drop like that - thank god the DH didn't see it and get any ideas ;)

That sucks!!! I'm having a beer and a moment of silence for you.

Catfish said...

SWeeeeeeeet NibLETSS

Anonymous said...

LMFAO. It HAS to be the age. My son did the same thing at that age. I sat there with fucking tweezers for DAYS trying to put it back together. After the 3rd time he did it, I called Dell, and they sent me a new keyboard. Free of charge. May be worth a call.
Oh- and as long as you give them bread and water, I don't think it can be called child abuse.

Itchy

Anonymous said...

OMG that is some funny shit. I think he's trying to tell you that you are on the computer too much and that he needs more attention. Horrible.

My computer is handicapped as well and I've had to adapt to not having a shift key on the right. My then 20 mo ripped it off and broke it to the point where it could not be replaced.

amyblue said...

my little one --not even a year-- has removed and (apparently) eaten my e key. i have to type and press extra hard in the hole that is left behind. i think it's evil genius that she only took the most commonly used letter.

Dre the Texican said...

This is CPS. Does anyone know how to get ahold of that AFRo ghetto biter lady up there? Call us at 1-800-867-5309. Keep it on the down low.

Shannie said...

Okay, I'm feeling the pain... My laptop is three days old and I have a kid eerily similar to the
E-Bull... Let's just hope that she never, ever does this... {{{hugs}}}

Harmony said...

OMG....I have no words!

Well outside of SORRY, that is.

I just have no words.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry for the destruction but I have to say, these comments literally made me pee my pants a little! The comments are funny shit!

Katie

Anonymous said...

OMG and I thought it was bad when my 2 year old washed my contact lenses down the drain last week. Forget the Safe Haven laws and start looking for a very understanding day care provider. Or can the Jews whip him into shape?

Deana said...

Oh Wow Ashley! I'm so glad your hubby was able to fix it! My little one did the same thing, but only to a few of my keys...same computer, too! I am permanently without a shift key, but life goes on....Kids...aaagh!

Stacy said...

OMG I would have had to strangle my little one for that. LK better stay far away from you for awhile!

Joy said...

Forget the safe haven law take his ass to jail and drop him off maybe they could fix him! I would have flipped out.

Anonymous said...

Little kid is definitely a "vonce" (don't know the origin, could be yiddish) but trust me, if i could find a definition, it would show a picture of your little kid! (Just in case you get bored calling him e-bull and are looking for other funny names). I know its not funny to live through, but your stories about him crack me up!!

baby mama drama said...

Damn, I thought my kid was bad for coloring all over her room with a pink crayon! She's got nothing on Little Kid! LOL!

White Lily said...

Sweet Jesus!!!
I'd ground that kid until he was 35, and probably have him working a part time home based job to pay for a new notebook...

So sorry for your notebook...