What is this, the 25th year in a row that I've wished you a happy birthday in our lifetimes? ONE MORE YEAR IN YOUR TWENTIES....We're getting old, bitch.
By the end of the day, I'm hoping to tell the whole world about that time you had that hairless beaver on your back! With photos!! What better gift than to have one of your most embarrassing moments immortalized for the whole world to enjoy??
It's even better than the card I meant to buy you and send you (yeah, don't be expecting a card. This counts as a card, I'm pretty sure. You could even print it out and fold it and everything.)
I love you, like I always have and always will.
Your Forever Friend,