Shoot Her

I've joked before that I'm going to make exceptional beauty a prerequisite to being a client of my photography business. As luck would have it, every child I've been paid to photograph thus far has been beyond cute. I'm talking Ralph Lauren model pretty. They have also been natural models and were easy to pose and a general joy to look at and be around. But my last client...not so much.

Don't get me wrong, every child is cute in some way. Well, 99% probably are. This child had cute qualities too, in fact, I am certain that the parents believed her to be cute. But anything cute about her was outweighed by the fact that she was a complete brat.

I spent 45 minutes coaxing this stubborn little shit to do something halfway attractive and worth photographing. I know I seem like a bitch around here, but I am Mary freaking Poppins on photo shoots. Bag of tricks and everything. Her mom was ready to kill her and I was trying to save her further embarrassment and diffuse the situation before a real tantrum started and ended any hope of a few decent shots.

When they finally left, Sonny and I looked around the feather strewn studio and at the pile of tutus and boas in the middle of the floor, took note of my rug burned knees and the ripped background paper, and agreed that I should be charging at least double, maybe triple, for putting up with that kind of shit.

I have no idea how, but believe it or not, the photos turned out pretty cute. Well, as cute as can be for a child who mostly just has youth on her side.