Sunday, November 4, 2007

Shoot Her

I've joked before that I'm going to make exceptional beauty a prerequisite to being a client of my photography business. As luck would have it, every child I've been paid to photograph thus far has been beyond cute. I'm talking Ralph Lauren model pretty. They have also been natural models and were easy to pose and a general joy to look at and be around. But my last client...not so much.

Don't get me wrong, every child is cute in some way. Well, 99% probably are. This child had cute qualities too, in fact, I am certain that the parents believed her to be cute. But anything cute about her was outweighed by the fact that she was a complete brat.

I spent 45 minutes coaxing this stubborn little shit to do something halfway attractive and worth photographing. I know I seem like a bitch around here, but I am Mary freaking Poppins on photo shoots. Bag of tricks and everything. Her mom was ready to kill her and I was trying to save her further embarrassment and diffuse the situation before a real tantrum started and ended any hope of a few decent shots.

When they finally left, Sonny and I looked around the feather strewn studio and at the pile of tutus and boas in the middle of the floor, took note of my rug burned knees and the ripped background paper, and agreed that I should be charging at least double, maybe triple, for putting up with that kind of shit.

I have no idea how, but believe it or not, the photos turned out pretty cute. Well, as cute as can be for a child who mostly just has youth on her side.


Dana said...

Hmmm...I think I need to book an appointment. Maybe you can do something with my camera hating, fit throwing brat. He's pretty, though, so at least you'd have that to work with.

Lynda Kay said...

That's my girl..if anyone can take an ugly kid and make her look cute, it's you.
P.S. Call me- I need to share my cowboy capers with you...

Ms. Skywalker said...

Ah, youth.

Freaking totally wasted on the young.

Deb said...

Maybe I should have you photograph me. I'm kind of "meh", and I don't have youth on my side, but I'm a barrel of monkeys on a shoot.

By the way, the description of the rug-burned knees and the scattered props sounds vaguely like something out of a porn flick. It's probably time that I scroll back through some of your toy reviews, eh?

Anonymous said...

If you had of said she was a brat to photograph but she was OH so cute I would have thought for sure you were speaking of my little evil-that is what we like to call her. To say the pics at the pumpkin patch were so not fun at all is an understatement. She's lucky she is so dang cute.