Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Checking In

I'm still alive, but barely. Maybe skull fractures take a long time to kill a person? I still have one heck of a headache. If the skull fracture doesn't do it, these kids will.

After playing 956 rounds of Imaginary Ice Cream Store (what kind of ice cream parlor is out of chocolate every freakin' time I ask??) and having the little kid cling to me and pick at me all day like a monkey, I'm seriously considering putting up the Superyard baby fence thingy around me and my computer.

I've got to get these last two photo shoots edited and uploaded because I have a shoot tomorrow and one the next day and I just can't stand to be more behind than I already am. However, this is difficult while listing the ingredients of a banana split and calming little kid down after he's realized the injustice of imaginary ice cream, after each imaginary bite.

On a totally unrelated note, I have some updates on The Jews:

-They have suckered us into buying school shirts for spirit day (I don't know if they call it that, that doesn't sound very Jewish). So not only did I get the pleasure of paying for an ugly t-shirt that says Shalom on it, I get to keep track of it and remember to send him to school in it each Friday. How fun is that?

-They also have a scam going where for you can pay seriously inflated prices so your kid can have pizza, juice and a cookie on Fridays. I've held my ground on this one and luckily Big Kid doesn't feel like an outcast yet, although sometimes he says his teacher gives him pizza and a cookie anyway.

-His teachers have come up with Indian names for each of the children based on their personalities (Shouldn't it be Native American names?). Big Kid's is Wise Owl. I love this. They also call him by his French name in the afternoons.

-The Jews are teaching him to recycle. I know, I know, I'm evil and lazy and selfish for not recycling. Really, I feel bad about it and sometimes I do it, but a lot of times I'm just not organized enough to care. It's on the list of things to start worrying about soon. HOWEVER, now The Jews are pushing it, which is great and all and I know they should, but I don't need one more person nagging me about anything, know what I mean? I also think their recycling efforts are ironic since they send home entire forests of paper each day that they expect me to keep track of.

-The other day I went to pick him up. Lately Mr. Ashley has been picking him up. I had the following exchange with a classmate:
Ansley: Who are you? Are you Big Kid's mom or somethin'?
Ashley: Yes, I am. Hi Ansley.
Ansley: Where's his dad?
Ashley: He's working.
Ansley: He never works.
Ashley: Oh yes, he does. He works all the time, he just takes a break to come get Big Kid.
Ansley: Well, he hasn't been working the last 2 weeks or so.
Ashley: Hmmm. I like the painting you're doing there.
Ansley: He hasn't. Usually kids moms pick them up. Except for Big Kid. His dad does.

I finally just started ignoring the little brat. Back off kiddo.

Okay, I'm not getting anywhere in my picture editing efforts and little kid is ripping my hair clip out of my hair, so I guess my attentions are better spent elsewhere.

I have other stuff to talk about, so hopefully I'll be back later. With the Superyard barrier as protection.


Anonymous said...

Hi Ashley,

Just wondering that you are shooting with? I am interested in getting a new camera and would appreciate any advise you might offer!

Love your blog!


Sasha said...

Well, phew! I was worried about you. Glad you are OK. :-)

Ask BK if he has Marshmallow Cream for me, ok? That's what I like on my chocolate ice cream.

The Cowan's said...

Please tell me how much they are charging you for this pizza day. My daughter's preschool charges $4 for pizza and juice- not even a cookie!

Maggie said...

OK. BK goes to a Jewish preschool and he has a Native American name and a French name. Does he have a Hebrew name? Inquiring minds want to know.
Oh, and get used to buying t-shirts. By the time he graduates from high school you'll have bought enough to clothe a third world nation.

Anonymous said...

A little tid-bit of information I picked up in San Fran the other weekend: It actually takes more energy to recycle goods and make them into 'new material’ than not... and right now the "BIG" crisis is energy conservation. SO in essence you aren't doing the world a HUGE injustice...at least that's what I tell myself to make me feel better :)
PS-Don't kill the messenger

Anonymous said...

So glad you are ok, I don't know what I would do not getting to read you every day-ok that sounds weird.

So if you find a way to dig a moat around you PLEASE let me know I would love to get on here and read without the little evil freaking out and climbing all over me.


SHELLEY said...

You are hifreakinlarious. I looove the witty sarcasm and the way you make everyday real life circumstances just fit perfectly in with your funniness (is that a word???) love the blog, i'm adding you to my fav's. just started this so your one of my first.

Anonymous said...

Are we feeling more anti-semetic than usual???

Unknown said...

How come every time I mention The Jews people start with the anti-Semitic thing? I think my love for The Jews is clearly evident, they are just expensive and make lunch difficult. Would an anti-semitic send her child to a school that teaches Hebrew?

I hope you're kidding, because we all know Ashley hearts The Jews.

The pizza, Chips ahoy and Publix juice is $6 per meal but you have to sign up and pay at the beginning of the semester, for those inquiring minds who want to know ;-)

Unknown said...

Oh nevermind, I see that you're one of those Shizzy girls. lol, you guys are so obsessed with me it's not even funny.

Kate, I shoot with a Nikon D50, I love it!

Carie said...

I wish we had Jews here. The Methodists are teaching my kids NADA and they are expensive too!

Carie said...

Oh and I forgot, last year when my daughter was in kindergarten they made all the home room moms make these butt ugly Indian shirts with the childs Indian name written on the front with puffy paint! They were awful. The principal kept saying "This will be such a keepsake, you will be glad you made them" I was so glad I stuck that ugly thing in the trash as soon as the fall festival was over.

Anonymous said...

How is calling the The Jews any different than calling The Methodists or The Baptists or The Catholics or The Mormons?

This from the girl who doesn't recycle because:

1. I'm all for Global Warming if it means no winters here.

2. The clinking of bottles (wine, beer, rum, take your pick) is {almost} embarrassing as DH hauls it down to the curb.

3. I am lazy, please refer to who totes it to the street.

Good luck with your shoots!