Dear Chickens,

Get the fuck out already.

I have now spent SIX weeks of my life checking temperatures and turning eggs three times a day. I have a hard time believing that I am unable to get even 1 chick from a total of 36 eggs and two hatches.

My thermometer is good, humidity is right...come on. How do chickens do it in such inexact circumstances? How do teachers do it, having to transport and/or go home on the weekends? How do not-so-smart people do it?

I planned on your arrival yesterday. I was okay with pushing things back to today. You're out by tomorrow, I'm serious. And you better not be dead or I will be so freaking pissed it won't even be funny.

I look forward to meeting you.

Your Mother,
Ashley