Saturday, August 9, 2008

Dear Chickens,

Get the fuck out already.

I have now spent SIX weeks of my life checking temperatures and turning eggs three times a day. I have a hard time believing that I am unable to get even 1 chick from a total of 36 eggs and two hatches.

My thermometer is good, humidity is right...come on. How do chickens do it in such inexact circumstances? How do teachers do it, having to transport and/or go home on the weekends? How do not-so-smart people do it?

I planned on your arrival yesterday. I was okay with pushing things back to today. You're out by tomorrow, I'm serious. And you better not be dead or I will be so freaking pissed it won't even be funny.

I look forward to meeting you.

Your Mother,


Jennifer said...

Now you are going to be accused of verbally abusing the chicken fetuses.

What on Earth are you planning to do with these chickens when they do hatch?

Jen said...

You are super ambitious to have taken on chickens to get your own eggs. I love watching the progress on this. You must have some land and space for 20+ chickens. I can't even imagine taking this task on. Go Ashley, Go Ashley.

Anonymous said...

No chicks yet? Uh oh - can you hear them making little peeping noises? No cracks in the eggs? All my real live mother hens have hatched my chicks so I don't know about all the humidity stuff but if your temperature is low can't that make them hatch late? I hope they hatch soon I know how bad you wanted them.

Unknown said...

Well it's beginning to look like I may not have 1 chicken, little less 20. So what I'm going to do with them may be a non-issue, unfortunately.

I do have a few acres and room for chickens. I have plans for a cute little coop and I will have eggs and pets. The kids will love it.

The plan was to get rid of all of the roosters and that I wouldn't have a 100% hatch rate no matter what, so I was hoping for 7, maybe 8.

I'm beginning to lose hope though. Something should be happening by now, although my temps were a little low and that can delay things. But still, even with the delay, something should be happening. :-(

Unknown said...

Nope, I don't hear anything. They just sit there, like eggs.

Unknown said...

Awww, so these are eggs that are actually from the chicken(s) that you already have? I am asking because when we incubated chicks in primary school they came from a place that specialized in eggs for that purpose. I don't know if those eggs were extra strong or whatever, but all of them hatched.

Maddness of Me said...

Do the cats go outside? I was wondering what kind of trouble they are going to get in to with chickens on their radar :)

Anonymous said...

Did you try candling them? You don't want to move them too much but at least it will let you know if there is some activity. Don't give up!

Melodie said...

Well, I hope you get at least one chick. After all of the effort, not to mention money, invested in these eggs, you really do deserve to get something out of this. If not, may faux-farming isn't for you after all.

Haute Mama said...

After reading your letter to the chickens, all I can think of is the book "Are You My Mother?" by P.D. Eastman. I hope to read about your chicks hatching...and soon.