Friday, August 29, 2008

Fucking Mosquitoes

Due to the two weeks of non-stop rain and the standing water everywhere, the mosquitoes are out in full force.

I take a perverse pleasure in killing the little bastards. I CAN NOT kill one without saying "Fucker" or "Motherfucker". Isn't that charming?

Fuckers.

Running to and from the house is like a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock movie; screaming, arms waving, blood and guts, slammed doors. My kids look like someone has been putting out cigarettes on their legs.

It's a lot of fun, I tell you. A whole lot of fun.

17 comments:

TentCamper said...

We had lots of mosquitos where I grew up but luckily ONE here. My problem is the fucking bees! I hate them and they hate me. There are two big trees right ou my front door....with THOUSANDS of those fuckers buzzzzzzzzing all over th place. I just don't go out until after dark anymore.

Tami said...

They love me all the time. If there's one in the house, its gonna bite me 100 times, just me.....even if there's 30 people around.

I got bit twice this evening getting GAS! The freakin' gas fumes can't even keep them away from me.

I think once you live in Florida for X amount of years you should become invisible to them.....I guess 30 years isn't X.

Tara said...

"Die, mutha-fucka, die!" is what I say when I kill a roach. :)

Melodie said...

At least you have the weather to blame for your mosquito problems. My backyard neighbors haven't cleaned their swimming pool since LAST SUMMER. I have to put bug spray on Katie whenever she plays outside, and she still gets bitten. Can I sue my neighbors if my kid gets malaria or west nile virus?

mrs said...

I've been dealing with fruit flies the last few days (I blame them on apples my husband brought home from his grandmother's and NEVER ate) and every time I kill one, I have the same response. Also, when I just see them. I hate those little fuckers.

Lyndsay said...

We've been dealing with the same thing here. I haven't been swearing at them, but now I know that will be the only thing going through my head next time I go outside. Yeah, thanks for that :)

Life, Love And Lola said...

LMAO! I do the same thing! Sometimes they're "Fuckers" sometimes "Bastards"

txchic said...

OMG! I'm so right there with you on this one. My sweet boy got bitten just from putting him in the car in the garage the other day. My kids look like they have chicken pox. It's horrible!!

Alissa said...

LOL I do the same thing!! We have a bad mosquito problem here. The kids can't play outside with out getting bitten. If we put bug spray on them, the little fuckers just go after their faces!! If we go outside with out bug spray and stand still, within 5 minutes they will have at least 5 mosquitoes on them. My middle son has red hair and they seem to love him the most. We never go outside anymore and yet he still has tons of bites all over, including his face and neck and ears. We tried spraying our yard and that worked for about one week. The thing is we don't live near any creeks or ponds or anything. I have called the city but they wont do anything except hand out flyers to people telling them to get rid of any standing water in their backyards. A lot of good that does. I don't know of anyone near me that even has any sort of pool or pond anyways! We have no clue why they are so bad here.

Mitch said...

We had swarms of them too! Until the county came throough and sprayed. Now we have a layer of dead mosquitos on our driveway. Disgusting! And I'll say it again here, I really don't know which is worse, the mosquitos or the county spraying chemicals around my children.

Nomers said...

Horrible mosquitoes! I'm like that with ants. After each kill I always say fuckers. It just suits the moment.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure I read something about putting Listerine in a spray bottle and using it to keep away the mosquitos. Sounds strange...I wonder if it works?

Melodie said...

Anonymous, my mother used to put Listerine my our wasps stings when I was a kid to relieve the pain and itch. I remember reading on the bottle a long list of ailments that it was good for, but the bottles these days don't have that list on them.

Joy said...

I HATE them loath them want them all dead!

My son and I both swell up like something crazy when we get bitten

Me said...

We have a problem with them here in Michigan. I believe they are the state bird.

This year we got a CO2 trap called a "Dyna Trap". It is hanging in our back yard and plugs in (luckily we have an outlet out there). It is supposed to cover an acre. $98 on Amazon.

I had no expectation at all that this thing would work, but I haven't had a mosquito bite since we got it. I haven't seen any either and the rest of the family hasn't been bitten either.

I had 16 mosquito bites on the day we plugged it in and I was miserable. I also worry about West Nile (it happens). They get *thru* my pants and bite my ass.

I hate the idea of spraying more chemicals around the yard, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this thing will work even when it's really humid (like in June). Right now it's pretty hot and dry (typical late summer here). A few people at work swear by theirs.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

bahhaaa you kill me!

Anonymous said...

I KNOW I HATE THEM SO MUCH

I have so many of the fuckers in my area. Every morning I wake up to one of the bastards buzzing my ear!

My uncle told me that the fuckers LOVE tires. If someone leaves a tire lying around there will be dozens of the bastards. Tires fill with water anyway you leave them.