and I fucking hate it.
Not the getting up early, not the traffic (although all that sucks too). Somehow in the excitement of it all, I completely forgot that I was committing him to a sheeple processing factory. An institution.
Today I parked way the hell out by the road, again, because of the grossly inadequate parking, took both kids by the hand along with a book bag and a bag of school supplies and party invites and headed for the classroom.
"You can't come back here without a pass," says some jerk with an inflated sense of authority.
"Oh, I didn't kno..."
"You HAVE to have a pass. I'm JUST doing my job."
"Okay, that's fine, I'll get one."
I go to the office to find a line 30 people long, all of them holding their driver's licenses. So I go back out.
"Am I going to need my license?"
"I told you that you need a pass. It doesn't matter if you have a license, you have to have a pass."
"I'm trying to get a pass, I'm just asking you if they'll need my license. I don't have it on me."
"Then you won't be able to get a pass."
"Okay, but he needs to get to his classroom."
"There are all kinds of adults back there, he'll be fine."
"Well, he just turned five and his classroom is at the other side of the building. I'm not sure he would ask, or know who to ask. Could one of the volunteers take him?"
I give him a hug and a kiss and watch as she shoos him down the hallway...alone.
"Wait. It's his second day of kindergarten and his first day in this huge building..."
"YOU CANNOT GO IN WITHOUT A PASS."
"I'm just asking you to make sure he gets where he needs to go safely." (near tears, not knowing whether to hate her for being a bitch or myself for being a wuss.)
"Ma'am," she said, grabbing a random passing parent who did have a pass, "Can you take this little boy to Mrs. D's classroom?"
"I don't know where that is?" She says looking baffled.
"One of them will help you," pointing in the general direction of the crowded hallways.
"Um, okay," she replied, taking my child's hand and walking off.
I know I'm overly tired and probably extra sensitive, but I started to cry. I was just so mad. I'm all for policies, especially for safety, but I'm also all for having a brain and a heart, and I personally couldn't have treated a tired mom with a toddler and a brand new kindergartener like she was going to burst into the school with a machine gun and start killing or molesting people on the second day.
There was far more danger in her original plan of just shooing him down the hallway alone. Sure he would've gotten there eventually but would his fear and confusion on the second day of school been worth protecting the masses from his stupid mother who forgot her driver's license?
Jerk. I'm writing a letter. I'm not just saying that either, I'm going to at least let the principal know that maybe there should be a little bit of flexibility on the second day of school, or at least kindness and the promise that my child will be well taken care of.
My computer is TRASHED. I don't know what's up, my anti-virus doesn't know what to do, my screen is all distorted and huDge, I'm going to go shut down and pray for a miracle upon re-boot. Today's got to get better, right?