Tuesday, August 26, 2008

1 Cup Isn't Enough

I have to take ANOTHER drug test.

I know you're thinking that you doubted I would pass one, but I swear, it's so not my fault.

I guess my company switched labs but forgot to tell everyone, blahblahblah, and lab #1 threw away my sample when the contract with them was canceled.

Only me, right? (Actually 3 other people got screwed too, but still, this is the sort of crap that seems to onlyhappen to me.)

I feel a little violated that they took it upon themselves to discard my perfectly adequate pee. It's violating enough that they treat you like a criminal, you, a perfectly innocent citizen trying to get a job. But the people that work in those places just aren't very nice and are all official and make you feel guilty even if you're not doing anything wrong. Like it's not humiliating enough to have to pee in a cup and hand it to someone.

For a minute, I had myself totally convinced that those 2 glasses of wine I had with Em's mom at the Melting Pot the night before the test had somehow gotten me in trouble, and that my company secretly thought I was a drunk and were second guessing hiring me, but the HR lady told me the mix-up story and seemed sincerely chagrined about having to inconvenience me so (so, so, so).

Tomorrow is going to be super crazy. We were supposed to have a meeting with Big Kid's school about speech, but I have to get them the pee within 24 hours of her typing the form she typed, and I may have to send Mr. Ashley instead.

The principal will be so happy to meet him in person, I'm sure.


Caren said...

Gee Whiz (no pun intended) that sucks! I hate having to pee on command, I have very shy kidneys. I would totally freak out if I had to do it again. It takes me a lot of effort to gear up for doing it at all, let alone twice due to a discarded sample. You poor thing. I feel for you, I truly do.

Joy said...

Speaking of peeing in a cup I had to take Abby in to the dr on Sat for a possible UTI and she had to pee in a cup. Nothing like getting your 2 1/2 yr old to pee in a cup.

So picture this me holding her so she doesn't fall into the huge toilet, holding the cup to catch the pee-oh and it has to be mid stream not the start and not the end-HELLO I can't tell her to stop peeing so I can stick the cup under. Needless to say I got pee on my hand!

Anonymous said...

You want to make an even better impression at school? Show up with a tape recorder! I used to work for the school district and I know they loved those moms the best!

Anonymous said...

Cany you just send Mr. Ashely for the drug test? I mean what's yours is his and his yours and all that.

Susan in Texas

Anonymous said...

The real question is... Why the hell do they care whether or not you do drugs? It's so NOT going to affect the world one way or another & people should be judged on work output & not after hours partying (or lack thereof).

That blows.

TD said...

That blows. I had to go back to the doctor twice last week to get blood drawn. The first appointment they just plain forgot to do it so I had to go back later in the same morning. Then they called a few days later and they had lost it and I had to go back again.

Here's hoping all goes well tomorrow and you don't beat my record with 4.