Yoga Ninja

I just did a practice teaching yoga session on my web cam so I can see what I actually look like since the studio has no mirrors.

I look okay. Ish.

I should have worn a bra so I can share it with you all though. Calvin the cat is in every second of the 25 minute video, snaking his body under mine in upward facing dog and playing with the ties of my shorts in downward dog. As I'm in forward fold, he's behind me, scratching the fuck out of my $80 mat. As I'm in headstand, he's chewing on my ears.

Our grand finale came when he reached out and punctured my finger while I was in twisting triangle, making me scream, "OW!" as I fell out of it and the video ends as I swat at him and rant about what a fucking fucker he is, holding my bloody finger away from the keyboard as I try to hit stop.

This is my destiny, people. Not to be a yoga teacher, but to be a Youtube star whose attempts at inner peace are thwarted by her bastard cat.

So from now on, undergarments while recording.